What do you not allow in your house for your kids?

I did think of one other thing we're not allowing... not that it's ever come up as an issue, but we don't intend to allow the kids to have TV's in their bedrooms. Ever. Not even if they offer to buy it themselves. We've got one in the living room, and that's plenty as far as I'm concerned. (and no, I don't have one in my bedroom either)
love,
mom

 

agreed! ...except we do have two tv's in the house, one in the den and one in the living room, and two separate DVD players - it's great for family movie night and Mom and Dad might not want to watch a cartoon or kiddie movie.

 

AGREED!!!! What you said about toxic and negative energy is TOTALLY TRUE of Marilyn Manson!

What a ghastly, unhappy, violent creature he/she is

 

Yeah, same thing my then thirteenn year old dd tried to tell me, which she heard from friends who listen to Marilyn Manson. Bush likes to tell people he isn't a "Facist" too, but it ain't true. Totally OT, but I've read the Bios of both MM and Anton LeVey who founded and sustainted the Church of Satan, which.......worships Satan. IMO, as a adult, one has a right to worship however one pleases, but such negative stuff isn't appropro for a 13 year old child. JMO.

I did watch a Bio on TV about Marilyn Manson, and what bothered me the MOST, aside from his "My Satanist thing is just a joke." was the fact that the ENTIRE interview, talking to his freinds and family ect he never ONCE mentioned the MUSIC or how much he loves music, or what music does for him ect. ALL other musicians LIVE music, you won't see an interview with any other without complete dedication to the music, all I heard from the Bio and several shows and a book I've seen about MM was that he thinks he "deseves" to be rich and famous. And continual rants about the kinds of people he hates. He IS a very intelligent dude, I won't doubt that, but he only wants celebrity. That is wanting to be a CELEBRITY, but IMO he isn't an artist by a long shot.(I guess it is all part of the "Do what thou wilt" thing, withouth the more tempering part Wicca adds "......and harm none.) Again, IMO, is hypocrisy, an other reason for my not to want my kids to listen to him.

However, adults have the right to listen to anything they please. But, I think, at parents need to have some guidlines to follow. Such negativity and hypocrisy as this man is something I simply do not want my young children exposed to. Again, these are MY kids, your milage may vary. Everyone has differnent values systems.

Done with OT.

 

LOL never thought I'd see the day when the hipforums would make my parents look open minded.

Seriously I don't think my parents have ever outright banned anything, at least not the things preiously mentioned. We were generally pretty good kids and not especially interested in those 'bad' things anyway;
* We've grown up watching moderatly violent stuff (e.g James Bond), and I see it as a healthy form of expression when put with a good moral grounding. * My brother had little guns as accesories for action man, but didn't even care for those.
* I had Barbies and grew up well adjusted, if your defintion thereof includes feminism, lol. Really though I knew it was all fake and only really used them as tools to act out my stories. That said they weren't half as slutty ten/fifteen year ago, no way would I be allowed Bratz dolls now.
* Negativity ... umm well OK. That would never have occured to me. We have a good life and all, but negativity is unavoidable so might as well get a coping strategy.
* No MM or devil worship here. My parents are cool about me Pagan, but then I was old enough to be sensible with it. Tarot cards are pretty harmless, they're just tools to suggest ideas in your subconcious [people can use regular playing cards for that]. So nothing to fear but your own mind.

Only thing I can recall is that my parents wouldn't let me wear high heels [aside from like play dressing up] until I was in my very late teens, as they didn't want me to ruin my feet. Oh and they weren't too impressed when I took up swearing aged about ten; though gave a calm rational explanation so I didn't object (still swore, but when they couldn't hear). They've loosed up about it as we've got older.

 

Our little boy isn't here yet, and the girls at work do often like to remind me to "never say never" with what I won't allow with my kid (they think having a parenting philosophy before having the kid is impossible), but my husband and I have already made firm decisions about no TV or computer in the bedroom - ever. That is absolutely something we will not change our mind about, regardless of the begging from our child we may have to put up with.

 

well when i was a kid i wasn't allowed to watch any music channels or any violent cartoons or movies or listen to any rap music along with any explicit music. i wasn't allowed to watch tv past 7 pm i had to do my chores and homeworkk before i watched tv or went anywheres. on the weekends i was not allowed to watch tv at all i had to mop all the floors and till and weed the garden the basic chores then after the house and the outside chores were doen i could go over to a friends house and be abck before dinner.

to be honest with my kids i dont mind if they watch violent cartoons,movies, music. i just wont let them until they are at an age where they understand that its just tv its not real and that i do not like violence being used in my house or outside of my house. i wont let my children watch any graphic movies or tv shows not until they are old enough to understand and know. but i try not to let them watch alot of tv if i do it's only veggie tales also on the upside aiden only like veggietales and really doesnt like watchin tv and all.

 

Barnie, the Wiggles, video games, christianity

 

We don't have any toy guns in our house, except for a small water gun we use to keep the cat off the back of the couch.
I haven't banned any toys. Meleah has lots of Barbies, like I did when I was young. Her Barbies are astronauts and chefs and vets, so I don't think it is hurting anything. Someone gave her a Bratz doll once, but she declared it creepy and gave it to the Salvation Army. She does not have any video games or a tv in her room. She does use the computer and watch tv, but not much. I think if you tell your kids they can never do something, they are more likely to try to sneak around and do it, so we are quite liberal with our kids.

 

As young parents with our first child (now 28), we were way too idealistic, and were against too many things. I started out not wanting any toy that wasn't homemade. So, I made our daughters first doll. Then no barbies,no toy guns, no squirt guns,( I searched hard for squirt fishes,etc.). No logo t-shirts ( too much adverising-said too much) We as parents preferred simple plain clothes, (and you are a reflection of us ), No make up,( you look like a hooker, or a clown.) I think we wanted to be like the family in "Little House in the big Woods'), just simple natural children. No designer clothes,( too commercial) No gum.( you look like a cow chewing their cud). O course we do have control of these things until a certain age, and then we don't. (when they have their own money.)

Well I must confess that I do think our instincts are right about all of these preferences, but as time taught me, many of those things "not allowed" in the house, were the things they chose to rebel against. There was sneaking around, and lying and deceptions. We had way too many arguments about all of this, and by the time the fifth child came along, we had loosened up about all the NO's, and we actually got the results we wanted from our teachings, without the struggles. I know we must impart our ideals to our kids, but after we give them our opinions and guide them as we must, maybe it is best to just let them come to their own conclusions. We may be surprised at their choices, if they are allowed to make them without our constant policing.

 

Wow... lots of no's in this thread, lots of control attempted.
I played with barbies, I watched ren and stimpy and the power rangers, hell, I watched the aeon flux cartoon with my dad. I had water guns, I even got a bow and arrow set in high school after we did archery in phys ed. My dad introduced me to freakin manson (btw, enjoying a musical artist doesn't mean you're going to adopt their religion, that's where diverse tastes come in). I went shopping in the mall with my grandma, loved Beauty and the Beast (yes the Disney movie, o horror!)...

Do you really think all these restrictions will make your kid that much better? Don't good choices come from your parents raising you to know what's good for youa nd what's not, and the ability to make your own decisions from there? If you ban all this stuff, how will they deal with it when they leave your house and are confronted with the real world?

I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be really judgemental, but I had a pretty liberal childhood and I turned out rather well I think. I have friends who's parents were very controlling (most with academics, but still) and they are neurotic, constantly stressed, make themselves physically ill from stress and generally hate life. Oh, and they hate their parents. No I'm not thinking that from suggestions, but they've out and out said that.

 

I just gotta say that the people who have not yet brought an other person into the world, for whom they alone are responsible for it's ultimate development, as usual, have the most to diss about what people who actually ARE parents are doing to provide a safe, learning helpful enviroment for their kids.

The kids I see with the Bratz dolls, and the Logo clothes and watching Freddie Kruger Movies at 3, are the ones I see, anyway, with the issues that are ignored or simply not dealt with in their teens. That being said, I think ALL the parents here have said "Your milage may vary" or something like that. What works in MY house may not work in yours. What works for your children may NOT work for mine ect. Too much strictness, like in our neighbors, who are Bible Thumpers and allowed not even the Simpsons to be watched, no birthday parties ect, have one kid who is an uberGoth (I wouldn't care, but it is their worst nightmare) one who is, I hate to say, uh, a bit loose with where she drops her panties, and a boy who can't finish school, stick with a job, or acomplish anything, and once asked ME to get him a Marilyn Manson album. LOL!

There is a happy medium between making every choice for your children and allowing them to grow up feral. Neither extreme works.

 

I agree wholeheartedly
and I wasn't trying to "diss" other people, I was just trying to share my experiences... I rather thought that was the point of a forum, to hear various points of view on a subject. No I haven't raised kids but I've been a kid, I've had friends whose parents were far too controlling (these are smart people who know the difference between being responsible and irresponsible)... as a parent you know you don't know everythign about your kid, hear everything they say nor know their perspective on anything.

If I'm not supposed to share my point of view on something in these forums just tell me and I won't come back to the parenting forum. It wasn't my intent to "diss" or insult anyone, just to provoke some thought that most kids out there (particularly from this batch of fab people) are smart and trustworthy, that they don't need to be controlled with a massive list of "no's" and "don'ts"

 

for my seven month old, I don't allow too much tv, even if she's not watching it. I don't like it to be just on "in the background". I move out of my grandparents' house tomorrow and thankfully I don't own a tv so this won't even be a problem soon enough.

 

funny how the replies don't seem to match what I'm reading in the posts...

seems most parents here allow their children autonomy to make their own decisions. seems most parents here understand that authoritarian parenting is not the answer, but it seems most non-parents see their posts as being about control? I don't get it. Part of a parent's job is to protect their children. And I do feel that certain things, like Disney's pitiful princesses, are certainly dangerous to my children in many different ways. How is my dislike of those things any more controlling than stopping them from running out in the road? One potentially gets them physically injured, the other may leave them with a lifetime of emotional turmoil. I said right at the beginning that I allow my children to decide for themselves, but I would not be doing my job as their mother if I didn't explain to them in detail why I don't like certain things.

 

I'm pretty lenient, my lil' boy loves swords and being a "warrior" He also loves pretend cooking and babies... He knows guns are for hunting. One thing I don't allow in our house is crappy pop music played on the radio. He loves Led Zeppelin (he's four) and pretends to be Robert Plant, complete with crazy outfits and dancing around while he's singing hehe... But yeah, I'm figuring I was raised without much limitations and I reckon I turned out all right so I'm giving him the same chance. Oh and I really don't dig the cartoons they play on tv nowadays so we do watch movies of old classic cartoons instead of having cable~ which he enjoys just as well, probably more than those other mindless cartoons they play on cartoon network.

 

I dont let any weak men who let their women order them around to influence my son in any way. Guys are already weak enough these days, and I keep seeing more and more wimps walking around. Equal is one thing, but being basically a slave is something I dont want my son to be exposed to in real life. Other than that, I let him do anything I did as a kid, including guns and play boxing and things like this. The world is a violent place, better prepare the boys to be ready for it.

 

Of course not. You are more than welcome to express your opinions, but, others are just as free to disagree.

I need to say that 'remembering' being a child will always be seen with a child's eye, and often cannot be brought fully into one's own parenting, and also seeing freinds parent isn't always helpful, because you never really see what goes on when you aren''t there.

ALL comments are welcome, but as the mothers and dads here are free to say what they want, and others are free to disagree, but please, take the same as you give out. Also, with the understanding that parents who are in the trenches, by and large, have an inside line on parenting and it's workings. Just as you tell us we are "too controling" and we can say, "No, that isn't true."

 

RELAYER, I agree with you, this is one reason my dh and I have decided that TV shows like "King of Queens" are not the best for our kids, either the girls or the boy. The show isn't banned, but I don't like the way the main character's wife abuses him, and how effete he is about it. Not a good role model. No, the show isn't "banned" but, there are other good things to do, than to watch drivel like this.

Amber, I have to disagree with you about the cartoons. I do NOT like "Classic" cartoons for my kids, and, being pretty smart and basically pacifistic kids, they don't like them. The "Classic" Looney Toons ect are SO violent. I'm sorry, but my idea of humor is not someone blowing themselves up with dynamite or falling off a cliff, or someone else putting a bomb down thier pants and nearly killing them. I, personally, see nothing funny about Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, Tom & Jerry ect. There is no plot, no real humor, no underlying stuff for the adults.......just being being harmed. Again, this is MY opinion and maybe your milage may vary. IMO, Sponge Bob, Dora the Explorer, Sagwa, Caillou (yeah, most parents hate his whining, but he acts like a 3 year old) and the show with the genuis kid are much better, funnier, sophisticated and much less violent than the "Classics." Again, this is only my perceptions. Although, the original Violence on TV studies used these Classic Cartoons as examples of some of the most violent, least altruistic stuff on the TV, and that they helped to reduce empathy among children. Personally, when my kids watch cartoons, I'll take Sponge Bob and Dora over Bugs and Wile E Coyote.

 

I have a recommendation that just occurred to me: For those of you who shy away from Diznee princesses and whatnot (which I applaud you for, btw) Check out studio Ghibli and Hayao Miyazaki's work. It's anime, and his stories tend to focus on a strong young girl or woman as the protagonist. For a younger audience, I recommend "My neighbor Totoro" (so good I'm getting a tattoo from this film) "Kiki's Delivery Service" and "The Cat Returns". For a little older (maybe 10 and up) audience, I recommend "Nausicaa, of the ally of the Wind", "Spirited Away", "Porco Rosso". There are many more I could recommend, but this is what came to mind right off. They're really really great movies and you should seriously check 'em out!