What have you invented?

I invented myself and apparently your mum :afro:

 

I have invented a device that's guaranteed to provide endless fun for people of all ages. It's a 3 foot long device,small at one end and large at the other end. We call it-a cone. It can be used anywhere and create endless hours of amusment . It's very entertaining and instructive and of course,is quite easy to construct yourself, however, I'd prefer you purchase one from me,the Jimmybillydonnie Company. Instructions are included with the device,when purchased,but I'll proffer a synopsis.
Say you're in a grocery store(however,it works anywhere) and you wish to try out your newly bought and paid for device,aptly named "THE INTERUPTER".
You don't buy anything--that's not why you're there. You're there for your own entertainment AND AMUSEMENT. You spot a likely person that you think is off in dreamland,contemplating the myriad displays of whatever and you sneak up behind them,raise your "THE INTERUPTER" to your lips,put "THE INTERUPTOR" next to the persons ear and shout as loud as you can: FIRE!FIRE!! RUNNNMOTHERFUCKERRUN!!!!!!! and then just stand back and watch the FUN!!!! -----------------. This epithet works well and the fun is priceles ,but use your imagination on that. I've found that "I'M GONNA KILL YOU COCKSUCKER " works as well. Endless fun for the kiddies!!
Two models available+
Regular and fold up. The regular"THe INTERUPTER' is designed for customers who don't care if they're seen amusing themselves at the expense of others.
The fold up is for those that wish to stick "THE INTERUPTER" in their pants to avoid any problems with management. They often seem to be unappreciative of "THE INTERUPTER".(Some people are born a little shy on the humor side.)

I haven't actually received a patent on THE INTERUPTER" yet,but I'm quite confident it's forthcoming in the near future.

Hints:#1= wear a comfortable pair of lightweight shoes when using "THE INTERUPTER"
#2=determine where ALL exits are before using "THE INTERUPTER".(can't stress this one enough)
Comes in 3 colors and can be obtained by mailing $19.95 (plus $34.95 shipping and handling to: Jimmybillydonnie Delaney, PO Box 1995,Roosterpoop,Arkansas.
Thank you.
Jimmybillydonnie

 

I invented the thong bikini. You're welcome, gentlemen.

 

Pics or it didn't happen

 

I invented the fartknocker

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-SyJzmzXQq8"]Romy and Michele - YouTube