What is your favotrite Hippy Joke?

as told by Janis Joplin...

"Did you hear about the hooker who douched with alum, acid and KFC? She wanted to be uptight, outtasight and finger-lickin good!"

 

What is red and yellow and looks good on hippies?

Fire

 

Are you some sick f*ck ?


PAX

 

These are hippy jokes not hippy seriouses right?

 

It's not funny. Not funny at all. My parents grew up in Europe before WW II
and those were the types of jokes that people told about Jews. I guess you would have found that funny too. Where do you think hatred starts?

And NO! I'm not Jews.

PAX

 

I guess I should apologize. I'm sorry that I lost my temper the way I did. What I should have done was explain to you why I failed to find the humour in this joke. The reason that I found the joke offensive was because it said it was ok to be violent against hippies. The rest of the jokes on this thread just made fun of hippie lifestyles. The joke implied that it was ok to burn a hippie. I've seen way too much violence directed against hippies in my lifetime and the establishment thinking it was just fine and dandy. I don't want to dwell on this any longer- I wish I had a funny hippie joke to tell but maybe someone else will come up with one and continue this thread in the humorous way that it was intended. so........let's keep on laughing!

PAX

 

No pressure................
What are the 2 most important words in a hippies vocabulary?
Ow and ear
(Holding hand to face like hitting a joint inhaling at the end) Ow... (handing the joint) Ear. It's much funnier in person.

 

LOL...................On-Line and also out loud.

And now here's my joke:

A hippie goes to school stoned. He starts to draw on a piece of paper. The teacher comes over and asks him what he's doing. He say " I'm drawing a picture of God". The teacher says "but no one knows what God looks like".
The hippie replies " they will now".

PAX

 

Old and probably on this board already but...

What did the hippies at the Grateful Dead concert say when they ran out of drugs?

This music sucks.

 

It's funny my nickname for the past few years has been Hippie, Hippie J, Hippie Jayson, Hip Hop, Hipster etc....

When I met My fiancee we were staying at he same Youth Hostel and she became Mrs. Hippie. Now she will say to me, "I love you Hippie." And I respond "I love you too Missisippi."
Peace Out,
Rev J

 

Here are some I recycled from previous threads:

Why are hippies like bears?
They both hug, eat honey and shit in the woods.

Why wasn’t Jesus born at a rainbow gathering?
Because God couldn’t find 3 wise men or a virgin.

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?
Yours.

Where does a hippie hang his posters?
Up against the wall!

Why isn’t there a hunting season on hippies? They’re too hard to clean.

 

plane flying through a bad storm with a tibetan monk, bill gates,and a hippie aboard.
pilot announces, bad news, the plane's gonna crash, we have to bail out, but we only have three parachutes and i'm having one of them,
and out he goes.

bill gates says, since i'm the smartest man in the world and valuable to civilization, i'm taking a parachute and saving myself,
and out he goes.

the monk says to the hippie, i've already lived a long and fruitful life and have no need to live any longer, so you take the remaining parachute.

but the hippie says, relax man, chill, no need for worry, we have a parachute each.
the smartest man in the world just strapped himself into my backpack,

and out they go.

 

I Like It!!............



Cheers Glen.

 

Jimmy Buffet passes on & goes to heaven.

God spends the day showing him around, at the end of the day he brings Jimmy to a small modest faded yellow one bedroom house with an unkept yard & a tattered parrot flag waving in front. It’s on a beach, in the back there’s a patio with a table with 2 margueritas on it next to a log shaker of salt. God tells him that not many people in heaven get a house, but that this one was his. Jimmy looks the place over & then looks over god's shoulder up on a hill in the near distance.

Up upon the hill sits a beautiful huge marble mansion with shining pillars in front, on the gate is a steal-your-face emblem. There are beautiful barefoot girls with long hair & colorful dresses manicuring the roses in the gardens which are growing over smiling skeletons wearing top hats. The hedges are all trimmed into dancing bears & guitars. The long walkway winding down the hill from the mansion is lined with tiedyed & steal-your-face flags.

Jimmy looks at the site & then remarks to God, "How is it that I get this dumpy little cottage and Jerry Garcia gets that mansion up on the hill over there?"

God replies, "No my son, that isn't Jerry Garcia's house, it's mine!"

 

Confuscius say: Hippies who make love on ground will have peace on earth.

PAX

 

Hahahahaa love it!

 

How many deadheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1 to do it and 20,000 to follow it around the country until it burns out.

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

2 hippies run into each other on the street and start talking. The first hippie says to the other one "God man I haven't seen you in ten years what have you been doing?" The second one responded "Ten Years."

Peace Out,
Rev J

 

Haha these are great!



A Deadhead and his dog walked into a bar. The Deadhead said to the bartender, "Can I have a beer? I don’t have any money, but I have this talking dog." The bartender said, "If your dog can really talk, I’ll give you a beer on the house." The Deadhead said to the dog, "Hey, what’s your favorite Dead song?" The dog barked, "Wharf, Wharf, Wharf." The bartender, furious, threw the Deadhead and the dog out of the bar. Once outside, the dog turned to the Deadhead and said, "Maybe I should have said Dark Star."


Two Deadheads were talking about a show that they recently attended. The first said, "That was one of the worst shows I’ve ever been to. Phil sang off key, Bobby came in too late, and Jerry forgot all the words. It was terrible!" The second Deadhead replied, "I completely agree with you, dude. And it was way too short, too!"


One night, an airplane was flying over the ocean. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Pope, and a Deadhead. The pilot burst into the compartment and exclaimed, "I have bad news and I have good news. The bad news is that the plane is about to crash. The good news is that there are four parachutes and I have one of them!" With that, he jumped out of the plane.

Michael Jordan sprung to his feet and said, "I am the world’s greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I’m taking a parachute!" With that, he grabbed a parachute and jumped.

Bill Gates stood up and said, "I am the world’s smartest man. The world needs smart men. I’m taking a parachute!" He grabbed a parachute and jumped.

The Pope and the Deadhead looked at each other. The Pope said, "My son, I have lived a long and satisfying life. You have your entire life ahead of you. I feel ready to meet God. You take the last parachute and I will go down with the plane.

With that, the Deadhead slowly smiled and said, "Hey, don’t worry about it. We can both have a parachute. The world’s smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack!"


This girl went to a Dead show with terrible tickets. She could barely even see the stage. Once the show began, she noticed an empty seat waaaaay in the front. She slowly made her way towards the stage, dodging ticket checkers left and right, and finally reached the empty seat. She was so close that Bobby could have spit on her. At the set break, she told the guy next to her that she couldn't believe that someone had given up such an incredible seat. The guy said, "Well, my wife and I had tickets to this show together, but she passed away." She said, "I'm so sorry. Couldn't you find someone else to come to the show with you, a friend or a relative or something?" The guy replied, "Nah. They're all at her funeral today."

 

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