What Makes Marriages End?

Substance abuse?

 

And when a divorce occurs, which it will, her response will be "How dare you divorce me you not good, worthless piece of shit." She is the kind of person who shoves the other person out and then blames them.

 

Toxic friends. Especially a toxic friend who has gone through a divorce. This isn't a new observation. It is a proven, statistical fact (that I didn't learn util I was already ****ed). If your wife's best friend has gone through a divorce...chances are you're next. Ask me how i know...

That said, she did me a favor. I had come to the realization that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her.

If you want to stay married:

1. Fidelity*
2. No toxic divorced friends
3. no substance abuse
4. Gainful employment
5. Cooperative advancement of common goals

You know...NORMAL STUFF.



*Sex with other people will not help your relationship in most cases...especially when he/she doesn't know about it.

 

From what I see, people change as they age. Sometimes couples will just change differently from each other. Maybe one develops a shopping habit, maybe one's hobbies change, their sex drive can change, their political opinions change, even their attitudes may change. Over time, this can create discontent or build up resentment. You build on top of little changes like maybe one starts to snore so you have to sleep in another room, then they start doing this, that and the other, and it all builds up over time.

 

100%. My ex turned into my mother in-law* (with the help from her toxic best friend). I realized that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with her.

*Everyone hates my MIL, even her own kids.

 

This is true.

My ex-wife and I were married for 17 years. We were very compatible at first. We were both night owls, but over time, she started going to bed really early to go work out at like 4am before the start of work. I started working more from home at night. We ended up spending less time together and drifted apart. The less time together also meant less sex together. We both cared about each other, but eventually I thought, what's the point since we're almost living separative lives.

We rarely fought and to this day we're still friendly/friends.

 

Lack of sex, money issues - number one and two. Few guys even think about cheating if they are getting too much action at home. Men, we are simple creatures.

 

Every relationship is unique. As someone who felt like a failure and generally awful person after my divorce, I’ve really enjoyed reading this thread. Life is crazy isn’t it?

I met my ex husband at we were both only 24 we had two children and got married very quickly. We were really opposites in every way but young dumb and so horny. I few up homeschooled hippie parents on a farming commune and he was from a very conservative Christian family. Apparently I caught him in his rebellious years or some bullshit.
Anyway, as soon as our first child was born, he and his family decided I needed to change my evil ways. Go to their church, dress “ properly “go tho their insane woman’s group. ( which in the almost 15 years she then, has become a full blown MAGA cult).
No regrets though. I wouldn’t have my kids if I hadn’t been with him. Besides, it gave me something to focus on. I was a wild child from 18-24 so who knows where I’d have ended up.

 

Even though I had the easiest of amicable divorces, I will never forget that feeling of failure as I sat in the court waiting for the divorce to be processed.

In retrospect, it may have been a positive thing because it made me think about what I did wrong or could have done better as a partner and person. I realized that I kept my feelings to myself and didn't make myself vulnerable to my partner. I could have talked things through rather than hold things in and let them fester. A lesson that helped me in my journey and future relationship.