What would you do if...

If I was back home in San Antonio I'd breath a sigh of relief....up to three months at 120+ in the shade most sumers.

wwydi you hooked a shark twice your size?

 

i dont fish. but if i did that, i'd either let go of the line, or shit

wwydi you got promoted

 

promoted from retirement? where would that take me, hum.

wwydi you got promoted?

 

Welllllll. seeing as how I've made a career of self employment gettin' promoted's no prob however gettin' a raise.............

wwydi you awoke to find yourself in the military......

 

Recite: This is my rifle. There are many others like it, but this one is mine. My rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed: my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of our enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

wwydi you awoke to find yourself sitting in a shrink's office

 

I'd offer him the professional courtesy of a discounted consulting fee
LOL

wwydi you found yourself in a HA biker bar without an invite?

 

Ask where AJ is.

wwydi you ran over a cat

 

Get on my knees and pray that he wasn't ran over 8 times already.

wwydi if it was your last day on earth and you were left a choice of 1 million dollars or the person you have fantasized about your whole life

 

Wonder why anybody would ever choose the million dollars.


wwydi carrots grew on trees?

 

No prob, can't eat or f*** a million dollars. lol

wwydi you suddenly realized there was a western diamondback rattler within 6" of your feet?

 

Learn to fly ... fast.


wwydi sea levels rose by 15 metres?

 

become a fisherman

wwydi all the beer ran out?

 

Drink cider.

Wwydi the television channels all decided to stop showing sport?

 

miss the hurling

wwyd if you could invent a new sport ?

 

if i could, i'd demand a lot of money and sponsors.

wwydi a huge finger came out of the sky with an equally sized booger on it?

 

give it a tissue

wwyd if a big huge monster came out a the sky ?

 

Lasso it and take it for a spin around the world

wwydi you ate via your butt and pooped out yo mouth? (I cheated it was a South Park episode and I went momentarily brain dead)

 

i'd kick my ass ha! ha!

wwyd if a guy kept askin you out after you said no already bout 10times ?

 

I'd finally relent and give him a sympathy shag.

wwyd if People talked about you on the radio and television?

 

tell them to shutup talking about me

wwyd if you only had one hour ta live ?