What's amused you today?

I am worried about this!

 

I guess Ken comes with a grave this time.

 

That's amazing! lol

 

Candy does not drink. Candy adds flavour.

 

That means no. Sort of...

 

Pyramid.

 

That man can sell anything and him being able to sell anything was just a myth before he become lord master of the universe!

 

Well... It beats no frills.

 

I love England so.

 

I wonder if he discovers the sun orbits him?

 

He will likely equate himself with it. In a year or so I predict he will force himself in Broadway performances enacting the role of Apollo :-D

 

CORONAVIRUS GUIDELINES FOR THOSE WISHING TO IGNORE THE LOCKDOWN

Following consultation, the Government along with members of the NHS, have decided to initiate a new policy for those not wishing to follow current lockdown guidelines.

Those wishing to leave their homes, meet friends, gather in public places and basically continue behaving as they always have done prior to the lockdown can now do so once they agree to the terms of the Totally Withhold All Treatment policy, or T.W.A.T. for short.

The new policy means that you are more than willing to take your life in your own hands and will not be a burden to the NHS should you fall ill following your own ignorant, selfish stupidity.

Those agreeing to these terms will be given stickers and labels to place on their clothing with the letters T.W.A.T. clearly visible. Once done, they will be free to continue their carefree lifestyles. After all, you only live once and what better way to prove it.

So sign up now to the Totally Withhold All Treatment policy and display the letters proudly so that other people know to avoid you, or drag their knuckles along with you.

T.W.A.T. – let the world know what you are.

For everyone else, thank you and please continue to stay at home and stay safe.

 

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A World View by Him with the funny walk!
.The British Take On World Events.

By John Cleese - British writer, actor, tall person, walks with a funny gait. Year 2012.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Syria and have therefore raised their security level from ‘’Miffed’’ to ‘’Peeved’’. Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to ‘’Irritated’’ or even ‘’A Bit Cross’’. The English have not been ‘’A Bit Cross’’ since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out.
Terrorists have been re-categorized from ‘’Tiresome’’ to ‘’A Bloody Nuisance’’. The last time the British issued a ‘’Bloody Nuisance’’ warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from ‘’Pissed Off’ to ‘’Let’s get the Bastards.’’ They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from ‘’Run’’ to ‘’Hide.’’ The only two higher levels in France are ‘’Collaborate’’ and ‘Surrender.’’ The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from ‘’Shout Loudly and Excitedly’’ to ‘’Elaborate Military Posturing.’’ Two more levels remain: ‘’Ineffective Combat Operations’’ and ‘’Change Sides.’’

The Germans have increased their alert state from ‘’Disdainful Arrogance’’ to ‘’Dress in Uniform and sing Marching Songs.’’ They also have two higher levels: ‘’invade a Neighbour’’ and ‘’Lose.’’

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual. The only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from ‘’No worries’’ to ‘’She’ll be alright Mate.’’ Two more escalation levels remain: ‘’Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!’’ and ‘’The barbie is cancelled.’’ So far no situation has ever warranted the use of the last final escalation level.

A final thought -’’ Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray.
Welcome back to 430 BC’’