whats gOing On in yOur mind..

I guess the other option would be to run from it, but wouldn't that just lead to short term happiness with the same sorrow just beneath the surface?

 

Wondering why I feel so anxious. Why she decided to argue. What it actually means. Whether I should raise this at work. Why I ate that pizza as I now feel sick.

 

Blueberry, raspberry, crisp...with scoop of vanilla ice cream..

damn...

now i wanna get in a hot tub..

 

Music and more music

 

I have two prospective employees and one position. Now I have to decide. Been interviewing for 3 months and I will be some glad when I decide by tomorrow.

I have another contract opening in about 2 months so I think I may offer the other person that one if they are willing to wait. I hope so otherwise I am going to have to go back through all the other candidates again.

 

should I walk to the store real quick to pick up a fifth of vodka...its either now or later, and I'd rather go now before it starts getting sketchy.

 

2012 seemed to be such a horrible year and 2013 seemed promising but it kinda sucks (not nearly as bad as 2012 though) and is flying right by so it seems...I feel like my life is on hold at the moment (though I could really use the rest). I'm usually doing much more exciting things..
here's to 2014!!

 

Hate staying on my meds feel a whole lot better I dont think I need them

 

never thought you might feel better cuz ur on ur meds

 

i'm right in the middle of my exams, really struggling with the material, really stressed.

but i don't know if what is really scaring me is failing the exams or graduating and having to find something to do with my life.

also, i have a genuine anxiety about normal relationships and have found myself in what could be a proper one for the first time ever. im really enjoying it, its with one of my very best friends and im really hoping we can make it work.

but i can't shake the feeling that its all gonna end badly. i can't explain why, its going fine, we really like one another. i don't want it to end and theres no reason why it should, but i can't shake this anxiety.

 

sometimes when im mixing on the tables i come up with such good shit... my problem is im not writing anything down and making a show... i should... but BAH

FUCK



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbUUGotMmKM"]Alien vs The Cat vs Dino Psaras - Shokata (GMS Rmx) - YouTube

 

I can't find my keys, well one set of them...and that set has the flash drive with my proloxix programs on it.

 

I hate when I meet people that make me lose my faith in humanity. I've been very lucky throughout my life to know people that are just good to the bone, so its always a reality check when I am forced to interact with genuinely bad people. what the fuck is wrong with some people?

I've had that same anxiety anytime I'm in a relationship that is going well. It just means you care about her enough to care if you lose her.

 

^word, its a hard road

 

My kitty died tonight when I got home from the park

 

bummer, ask rolling for a replacement...

 

What to eat when I get home. Haven't eaten since around 3pm yesterday. I'm hungry.

 

This morning I was jaywalking and this black dude like 3 cars back yelled at me out his window "You fuckin' asshole, who taugh you how to cross the street!" and I was like "Cuz DATS how you JAYWALK motherfucker, I ain't afraid of getting hit, I'm walkin faster than ya's movin in this traffic haha!"

I guess he didn't wanna get hit with the red light but he made it through...I didn't wanna miss that bus either so...

It was a good start to my day, cuz it made me laugh and put a smile on my face, it's amusing when someone gets pissed off and thinks they can dump that negative emotion on me, get me pissed off and make themselves feel better.

That's not how it often works with me tho, no when u pissed off, the only one that's pissed off is YOU, and that sucks, cuz I don't like bein' pissed off either!

 

Sorry to hear that.

 

seein' twitter shit, and hashtags everywhere, especially as graffiti on the sides of buildings, doors, busstops, inside of busses, inside of train cars, poles, signs...oh sometime they forget the @ sign when its supposed to be there, I guess i'm supposed to know to put it there since its not a hashtag, that's annoying.

now i'm starting to notice how many QR codes I see everywhere, you know the square, cool lookin' bar codes you can scan on ur smartphone ;-), there's even a building somewhere that I used to see a lot that one whole side of it was a big QR code, but I was never able to scan it, never able to get it in the right perspective for it to scan :-/