whats gOing On in yOur mind..

Strangely my mind is empty.

 

will that last long?

 

I suppose it's more that my thoughts are fuzzy... can't distinguish one from another.

 

And no... I'm sure soon enough my head will be filled with crap.

 

thats how i feel... i just woke up cause of dog barking...

 

I don't sleep. I need alcohol or something to get me to sleep most nights.

 

Salt baths can really really help. The salt relaxes all of your muscles.

Also physical exercise helps. Then trying to get a sleep schedule going.. so its not different daily..

 

Yeah, baths are good. I haven't been out the house in the last two days, so that doesn't help.

Alcohol and benzos it is for me right now.

 

what about weed?

 

Not so much recently.
Depends what stage I am in of my "cycle" as to what I use.

 

Ciggerattes

 

You managed to write one word and make three spelling errors. Or was it on purpose?

 

Maybe

 

Death

 

I'm thinking about sensations. Think about consciousness. How maybe all it is are these strange nebulous "bubbles" blinking in and out of existence as we fall asleep and wake each day. If the personality is an illusion, then it doesn't exist, and how can what does not exist perish? I can't believe that our personalities are just illusions these machines need to continue thriving. Of course, as the personality, it would be very difficult for me to admit that I am the machine.

If the personality is the machine's ultimate survival mechanism, its ultimate way of valuing itself to propel itself forward, then everything, all of this, is asinine. Our emotions are vapid. Therefore, the personality cannot simply be the machine's ultimate survival mechanism. And how lucky would the machine have to get in the first place to develop a personality? I'm to believe that the personality was a genetic mutation? That's a hell of a fluke. Do you realize how diverse people are? People don't make any sense. So this senseless thing called the personality just happened randomly, fortunately, one evening. Yeah right.

 

Do you mind elaborating on that? I think I know what you mean.

 

Jerking off

 

Just that when I am in the most crazy and self destructive part, I tend to crave harder drugs. When things calm down, I'm more tame.

 

So emotional cycles you mean, or outside forces influence that?

 

How I would go about breaking into porn.