What's Happening?

It looks like the tornadoes and thunderstorms will stay south of us.

I'm relieved!

 

home cheapo and lowes around here sucks for garden supplies. i dont know why I bother anyways.. not like the live in trolls are going to help..

 

Have you guys heard about Macedonia

 

don't think it's quite the same thing, but ....i mean well ...well...well. idk. looks like your game (or match?) went well though! And I guess, the thing I was worried about kinda resolved in my favor too. But no, I get into full on panic mode. I mean, I'm catching myself init these days, but I still have to talk myself down a LOT.

Thanks. I'm the same, tbh. but talking does help! or at least whining as I did. (sometimes saying stuff actually makes it worse! bleh!)
just that reassurance that everything's gonna be fine though, even if it's not (well, it eventually will be. I truly believe it), well I just have to feel safe to think straight in the moment. make sense?

So, if that helps any with how you are with your son. idk. Sorry to hear it, but I'm sure it's nice that you're there.

----
In totally unrelated news (well, now this too seems resolved??-it got quiet. ah crap! nope! cops are still there)

Yeah, lol So idk what happened. Accident or something. It's right out my window, I heard something but i didn't see anything. This local trucker that frequents this area was running around knocking on the neighbor's door for them, talking loudly. That's when I thought twice. Probably hit their car or something. Well, now the cops are there and "investigating". ughhh. idk! lol the damn dog is outside, but the tenants are....??? Well, now one car left, but the cops are still talking to the "trucker". Idk. Oh man! It looks like they (they who?) are going into the house...wthell is going on in my neighborhood, man?!! lol j/k It's probably not anything to panic about, but it's just such ironic timing huh?

to be continued?? idk I may get lost in something and never know...I don't WANT to know...but I probably ought to, right? ughhh!

home cheapo

 

It worked out for me yes. Same tables as the other day where that pest of a person robbed me of my break in the final frame so, I think I gotta tip my hat to Loki on this one, the Trickster, Shadow walker, he must have been with me.

I do suffer from a lot of anxiety though and just not from playing pool lol. I'm rediculous socially anxious, the pool has helped me over the last year as it's forced me to do things I normally wouldn't do like meet new people, play new people, walk into new venues, get stared at and just gotta get over it. I've made friendships along the way too which helps and I get the vibe that at least 80% of the pool players I meet and face and see like me. they don't know me yet a lot of them especially the good players but even yesterday I was amongst some great players and they look and stare, I try take no notice. But I did notice when they were watching I was potting really well lol.

I'm sure they're seeing my name up amongst them and I've heard little talks like "I just met this young woman and she's a really nice young woman and not a bad shooter either" hehe.

After matches now people want to meet me, talk to me, play me.. it's weird. But it's good too, I can walk into any venue now and I'll know someone and I've got confidence to talk to random people now too because I know I'm actually a decent player with nothing to be down about, I can hold my head high and honestly, I don't care what they think anyway. We'll sort that out on the felt if need be.

 

The humidity is already pounding us.

The actual temp is 80F and the heat index makes it feel like 87F.

 

home early but not doing to much right now... getting tired of working home alone all the time.. had a big blowout argument with the inlaws and girlfriend yesterday. had it up to here with the bullshit. I dont know what imagine they had of me from the start.. but Im not some pothead that sits on his ass all day on the computer smoking weed. broinlaw bought a truck a month ago.. has yet to get dirty. bragging this and that.. over a year that back yard and breezeway been trashed....

their backyard is mess, cans and bottles all over the place, bbq bags, debris everywhere. fucking filthy. well the other day my girl skips work. calls me around 4 screaming like a homicide happened .. shes out there fighting with the sister. and fell getting a large gash on her arm that required stitched.. calling me to take her to the hospital. NO .. Im not getting involved in their domestic violence .. call the paramedics. Im not anywhere near there..

now those clowns want to get a 2nd dog.. when the other dog is left alone all hours of the day. sure I leave my dog when I go to work. but its more than that. they dont have a fence or a yard for the dogs to be just that dogs. No licenses on the dogs. a name tag is not a license.....

goes out and buys a $1700.00 dinning table made by the puppy mill Amish .. seriously.. yall motherfuckers can spend money like that. cant but a 7$ box of garbage bag?.... oh and when I went to set something down on the table the motherinlaw took a fit.. its a fucking table that what it does.. well of course they dont know what a tables purpose is. just like that thing over the back wheels of the truck. Its made to do work not look pretty...

 

Just ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with almond milk

 

I have not. It hasn't been reported here from what I can tell. Of course the news is always something about politics. Gibberish...

I recently watched this movie; a documentary called "Our Brand is Crisis". It's about Bolivia in 2002 or something, but the point I'm getting to is: there was a ton of rioting. Rioting is the way that they get what they want politically in some places. I think the riots in "Our Brand is Crisis" had to do with the international monetary fund somehow. I can't remember what that even is off the top of my head. I think it was covered in my Macroeconomics curriculum and I have simply forgotten. It's probably a banking tool to help countries who are in debt or something. Anyway, these guys in Bolivia were Coca farmers. They were the indigenous people of Bolivia and they felt they weren't being heard somehow. I don't know.

To me Democracy is such a good answer for so many things. I guess that's easy for me to say though.

 

PLEASE, No Politics in the section.

 

You gotta get shed of that.

 

I'm bummed.

We've been broke for over a week and were waiting on hubby's disability check to hit the bank today. It didn't.

It use to normally come in on the 3rd of the month. For the past several months it's been on the 28th; but not today.

I have $6 and some change to round up to buy a bag of cat food.

I have peanut butter and hopefully the bread is still good. I've got a 5 pack of ramen noodles.

Jesus Christ, I hate living like this.

 

bitch is playing text games with me now.. I'm not having it. cry cry cry. thinks things like saying shes not attached to me hurts my feelings, pttf. jealous I actually take care of myself and don't live like a slob. .

 

Be done with her.

 

feel ya..

 

Thanks, Orison.

I just have to get hold of myself. I have some things to eat; they just may not be what I want but I can eat something.

It's a psychological thing for me that I have to overcome.

I get panicky and scared and let it run away with me.

I'm grounded again.

I know I will be okay.

 

last couple days been eating a cup a soup with spicy tuna. been hitting the spot actually. .

 

My favorite soup is a tomato soup but I thicken it up with cream. I then boil some pasta, always the C shape pasta if it's any other pasta it doesn't taste as good. Now I know that sounds stupid but it's so true. Pasta shapes make a difference especially in my soup!

The pasta will soak up the soup so it's always yum.

Then I dice up cocktail franks and cook them altogether. That's kind of it really. Can of soup, C shaped pasta, cocktail franks, little thickening cream. you can also add like, those little mince sticks you can dice them up too and throw in. And if you make too much and have left overs the pasta literally soaks up all the soup you have a cup of pasta... and when you heat it back up the soup comes out.

 

Sorry Aeri, been there but couldnt afford the lousy t-shirt :\

 

freeloader is here..