What's Happening???

I used to spend my weekends at a club that did metal karaoke with a live band. It was always packed. I mean like sardines in a tin. It was so much fun...

 

Back in the 90's I worked a a music store in the repair department... About every 3-4 months this local church would bring in their PA system for one obscure problem or another, right after I noticed a sign out front promoting their "Karaoke for Jesus" event. I would hook it all up, turn it on, bury the volume and scream obscenities through it and it would work fine for another 3-4 months... One of the other guys in the shop asked me why I did that. I told him I had to scare the Jesus out of it... He wasn't amused.

 

I've got that "butterflies-in-my-stomach" feeling and it's been there all day and I'm tired of it.

 

0o0o0o00 you have a crush on someone.

 

Sounds more like anxiety butterflies

I hate those

 

Yeah anxiety butterflies.
It's so stupid because I can make my brain feel fine, happy even. I prefer dealing with this stuff when I can just sit in the garden. It's being at work making it tiring.

 

I hate that, when your brain feels fine but your stomach is like, "brain, I'm gonna make you feel like you should be worried about something"
Stupid stomach

 

I do the same. It used to be a lot worse, especially at work or before social situations.

 

Even if I thought I was calm in my brain, the feeling inside would start my brain up.

 

Yeah. I probably just want to cry for five minutes and then I'd regroup but not being able to do that seems to increase the feeling of being under pressure. Telling you guys has helped. It's fine. Only two hours until 5 anyway.

 

It's amazing how letting it out helps. Over the years, as I've gotten anxiety and spiraling thoughts more sorted out, it's become more apparent how pretty much everyone has anxiety at times...even people who seem to have everything under control and never show a hint of stress.

 

It's the parents are coming butterflies, I bet.

 

Oh, yeah... Last night hubby was again accusing me of taking the liquid morphine.

This morning when I woke I remembered that his sister and her daughter took some medications in their car and turned them over to the hospice facility on the night that hubby's bro-in-law was checked in.

That has to be the medication in question because they gave hubby everything else including morphine tablets.

When I drove him to the pharmacy yesterday evening he casually made a remark about how much his pain meds cost and wondered what the cost of morphine would be in comparison.

I growled at him for even mentioning morphine to me.

He seems obsessed with it.

I think he's taken the morphine tablets and is jonesing for more.

He's a horrible, nasty person when he treats me the way that he is over this.

 

Sometimes the only adequate response is to growl.

 

I've been in anxiety mode too
I'm supposed to go tubing down this brackish river on Saturday
Flesh eating bacteria live in brackish water and I have an open wound from the blisters from the burn I got the other day
And alligators also live in this river
And I am just having severe death anxiety right now and I think I'll suggest we just go to the beach instead

 

Growing up, I'd get those the day before the first day of school every year

 

What a pitch for this place! I'm jealous.

 

Lol well, I'm just being dramatic. Flesh eating bacteria does live in warm brackish water but there's no proof it lives in this river that I know of.
And it's quite a popular tubing spot and there's never been an alligator attack. But that doesn't stop me from feeling panicky. It's because I smoked weed this morning lol.

 

Hubby just woke for the day.

I sent him a facebook message about what I thought happened to the precious liquid morphine.

He sat on the side of his bed and read the message, gave it a thumbs up, walked through the house, past me, and went outside.

I hope this means that drama is over.