When was your first masturbation experience?

That one was all thanks to my mom. She'd teased me a few years before about scouring catalogs and magazines for underwear and swimsuit ads by saying something like, "What you really want is the Victoria's Secret catalog." I was probably 9 or 10. I didn't really get much out of looking at swimsuit ads honestly. The fun was more from play-acting the sort of impish tomfoolery I thought boys were supposed to get into. But for whatever reason, I always remembered her making that joke. So, four or five years later, no sooner than I'd reverse engineered how a male would masturbate and realized I'd need to have an erection, I thought let's check out this Victoria's Secret thing that's supposed to be the world's best source for sexy photos of women.

I can still vividly picture the woman I chose to do it to. And I did flip all the way through the catalog to find the photo I liked best before I'd even unzipped my pants. It's odd how methodical I was about it compared to most people born male. I even waited two days for the catalog to come after I'd made this decision to try masturbating. I also remember I purposely did it in my sister's bed rather than mine. I can't remember what the thought process was there, since I didn't know there'd be "evidence." But it definitely had something to do with trying my best to obscure any connection back to me if anyone somehow discovered that masturbation had occurred.

It never ceases to amaze me how fucking obvious it always was that I'm genderqueer. What cis-boy fucking plans his first masturbation like it's a goddamn dinner party. Like I even put thought into the venue??? LOL!