where you whipped/spanked as a kid?

I don't have kids so I don't think I have any right to talk about raising them since I don't have any.. I am just going by my parents and how I was raised which was in complete fear... That is all, I'm not trying to horse shit on people's parenting skills or anything...I don't have kids so I don't feel I can say what I think parents should do, you know, just stating my actual experience of being a kid, you know..

 

I think you totally have a say, because you were once a kid, and maybe one day you will have kids. And then you will need to have maybe prethought out some things.

 

yes and i still do get whipped

 

Good idea. Just roll up a newspaper and pop em on the nose and if they shit on the floor rub their noses in it.

 

Exactly. I know too many people that were scared to be around their parents for hitting them all the time. Some parents are just cruel. Using items hard and more painful than belts or the back of their hand. There are other ways to achieve discipline without turning into a Drill Sargent and resorting to drastic measures for trivial issues.

 

That's pretty lame, man.

 

No sweat shroomie. Thats not so pointed at you as it was a statement from me regarding my thoughts.

 

yeah it is maybe you should kick my parents ass and tell them to stop

 

yes, i was, and i would never do it to my kids. i had a hardcore military father, and when i didn't behave he treated me like an unbehaving soldier. once he even held me up against the wall by my throat. i was 5.

scaring your kid into behaving is not a good way to raise your kids. i grew up a very hard, mean, unhappy person because of the fact that i was scared into submission to whatever my parents wanted me to do.

i don't think the issue is whether or not to hit your kids (though i believe it is wrong, and abuse, in every situation), the issue is whether or not you're scaring your kids, or attempting to do so. yelling at your kids constantly and never once hitting them is just as bad as hitting them to try to get them to behave.

 

I just wanted to make it clear that I am not doubting peoples parenting skills or how they raise their kids, that's not me...

 

I agree with that last part but heck man, you have to do something to correct the wrong actions of children.

 

Mucho groovy man!!

 

I was actually. It even happened once when I hadn't done anything. My dad was in the zone I guess. Yanked me up and popped me and all I was doing was sitting on the sofa watching television.

 

who judges certain actions as wrong? not trying to be an ass here, just things i think about a lot as i contemplate becoming a parent. and yes, there are behaviors that are not nice that you want to teach your children not to do. but i believe in rewarding behavior you want to encourage, and ignoring behavior you don't want to encourage. and if ignoring it doesn't cut it out, then withdrawing the ability to do some activity or WHATEVER it is they really enjoy and look forward to will produce the same results.

i think that using any kind of force to assert parental dominance over children is just asking for the child to push the parent's limits, try to get away with things, and in general rebel. i know the more dominating my parental figures were, the more i hated them. and the more "i don't give a shit about my kid" my mom was, the more i engaged in bad behavior (after trying good behavior, which didn't work) to try to get her attention.

 

give kids benadryl when they act up?

hmmm yea, i'm gonna say no on that one for me

 

yeah... that's abuse as well. the benadryl thing.

 

I still get benadryl ever Christmas eve. It doesn't even work...

 

Boy, where do I start with what do kids do "wrong"... Everything, until you teach em. I always reward good behaviour but let me tell you that ignoring bad behaviour will not work.

Just my $.02 I could be wrong but I have three amazing kids and everyone of them got a swatted bum and harsh words here and there. It works for me and mine.

 

I hit my mum once, she hit me once, didn't need to do it again

 

i'm not trying to say that you and kc are bad people or bad parents, or anyone else who spanks their kids. i just personally think certain things are hypocritical. if you teach you kids to be nice to others and not hit their playmates, and then you hit them to punish them for hitting the brat in preschool... it just doesn't make sense. it might work in that they listen to you because they're scared not to... but does it make them think and rationalize things for themselves? kids are capable of much more than most people think, and all we have to do is find the level where we can communicate with each other clearly....

but again, these are just my opinions. and no, i'm not a parent, but i've been a nanny. three spoiled fucking brats, and by the end of my 4 years there, they were well behaved, well adjusted kids, and never once did i hit them or yell at them.