who invented monogamous relationships?

women WERE forced into fidelity and still are in many parts of the world. but fidelity is a failing concept.

 

women still are forced into fidelity in the muslim religion, one reason it sucks worse than even christianity

I was not that good at marriage, but it could work out, to me I don't see it as important at all, as i want no family

 

no, they were and are forced into monogamy
fidelity is loyalty, you can act loyal but not be loyal in spirit; you can not be forced into it

fidelity is only failing because people set it up to fail
plenty of believers in fidelity change their minds
plenty of people practicing infidelity change their minds

if you end up marrying someone cause they are rich, or because you feel secure with them, or because they treat you nice, or because you got them pregnant - you should expect failure

 

so you have been married and are speaking from experience? So you have had a bunch of long term relationships?

 

i like having fun & not being tied down, having a free relationship is nice. but eventually i would like to settle down.

 

everything I said should be logic...

and I believe strongly in learning off of other's experiences, so that you do not make the same mistakes

 

I only believe you can learn through others mistakes in relationships to a point, you pointed out some obvious ones...but you can never know how you are going to feel even if you go into a relationship with the best of intentions thinking it will work out, you can never truly know until you are there.....its incredibly complex at times.

Logic and emotions do not always work together. Logic might say that this person and that person would make a great couple, but the murkiness of the human psyche prevents it from being that easy.

 

I never said that they didn't

I pointed out wrongs, I did not say anything else would work for sure, I just said that those ones most likely won't

you assume too much

 

whatever kid, call me when you have had a relationship

 

I am in one... I still think that is irrelevant though

 

so you think its irrelevant to speak about something through experience, better to just imagine how you think it would be or live through someone else?

call me when it all falls apart when you didn't think it would, tell me the emotions you yourself expereinced that you might not have been able to predict using logic.

 

Hmmmmmmm

 

I've had much shit fall apart when I didn't think it would, I know plenty how that feels
I didn't think my house would burn down
I didn't think my dad and mom would break up
I didn't think my dad would die
I didn't think a suicidal attention whore would ruin my relationship with Claire
nor did I think I would let him
and I can't count how many times I didn't think the girl would reject me

I know how uinexpected sorrow feels
the rest I can fill in

but this is still all irrelevant to what we were talking about...

PS:
never think; always know
never predict; always decide
never blame; always accept
never regret; always remember

 

my husband and i have a semi-open relationship. we remain loyal to the marriage and to each other, physicality aside. neither of us have EVER seen a relationship that didn't eventually have someone "stray" at least once. neither of us consider it to be a relationship ender. people are people, monogamy is unnatural to the human animal. and i think duck just wants to argue semantics because he knows he has no actual logical ground to stand on.

 

and how much did logic play into that?

could you tell just what you would think when your dad died through just imagining what it would be like?

My point is, with emotions, you really often cannot know until you are there. I think you have some relevant expereince of your own that you have now told me.

 

fi‧del‧i‧ty  /fɪˈdɛlɪti, faɪ-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[fi-del-i-tee, fahy-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun, plural -ties. 1. strict observance of promises, duties, etc.: a servant's fidelity.
2. loyalty: fidelity to one's country.
3. conjugal faithfulness.

 

I have been (and am in) a very similar situation.... and it works just fine for those involved. Whatever works in each individual relationship is what works.... I think it is humourous the people that try to judge all other relationships because of what would or wouldnt work for them personally.... (or other people theyve seen- like they have seen every relationship)....

 

i've been in a long term relationship before this one, and i was strictly monogamous, as was he. however, the problem with it is that it's so damned hard to not stray. knowing that it's so damned hard, how can you REALLY, TRULY be angry with someone for straying just because they fell short of the mark and you didn't? that sounds more like sour grapes than anything else.

 

Hmmm, that is why I'd rather have someone just tell me and not do things behind my back and lie.

 

and it would make sense that they would want to circumvent it since its really not their thing but the man's