why are most men bitches?

There is no good answer on the basis of the assumption that "happy on your own" is an unattainable fairly tale. I differ most strenuously with that premise- I spent a good number of years alone- and working on being happy with that state of things. A critical life skill that I'm still working on is finding the happiness that lurks within a given means and set of circumstances. Discovering terms by which I could be happy being single enabled me to conduct myself comfortably within my own skin and attract someone as I am instead of fronting a persona I'd presume someone would consider ideal, thereby misrepresenting myself and potentially setting the relationship up for failure from the start.

Likewise, requiring a S/O for happiness essentially says the other person is responsible for your happiness... and conversely at fault should you be unhappy in the relationship. That's quite a load of responsibility for one person- and not fair for either party. At 19, the OP is making generalizations about an entire gender (well... MOST of us) in a manner that suggests numerous people having occupied the role for her- it's a little like a resume showing many jobs held but none for very long... as a HR person I have to wonder why the applicant can't seem to stick with anything for very long. Is the selection process flawed or is the person having an effect that brings out the negativity being complained about?

 

As I've stated, I agree. We have to be happy on our own. And yet, we cannot be happy on our own. We have to be what we cannot. Or, I have to be what I cannot.

Sticking to either side of the issue here, gives me an uneasy feeling of not doing justice to the paradoxical nature of what we are discussing.

I think I'm more capable now of this relative happiness in solitude than I've ever been. And yet, I intuitively perceive that this lack is a part who I am.

In that sense, the OP is doing nothing wrong. And the system is flawed. In another sense, she is flawed - and the system (men) is not.

 

You speak much truth here... and life is a giant paradox for sure.

I've met people who are "serial daters"... people who cannot bear the thought of being single. The moment a relationship falls apart they're out desperate to find someone else. These people are never alone and usually with someone they haven't been acquainted with for very long. Don't know whether this applies to the OP or any of her fellas along the way but it may explain some for her- when she is ready for that information.

 

We are wired to be social creatures, so we have to keep trying to make it work with somebody. It's our nature, and we have little choice but to accept it. Hopefully, we learn a little more and get better at this every day. Making that effort while accepting imperfect reality is the balance that we need to strike.

 

Okay first of all. Im talking about the men in my area, I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone. Theres a lot of bad stabbers here, users and just anything that can make a man a jerk here. Again im NOT generalizing. Im sure theres nice guys here, and when I go and talk about the guys that think they can hold off on sex or a relationship with me, my guy friends think THEY'RE nuts. Sure i might have some flaws about me, hell, if you wanna think a speech impairment is a flaw, go right ahead but again what are you labeled? a jerk. My flaws are not unbearable that men run away. I could get a lot of people to agree. Im so easy going, maybe too easy going because I let men get away with a lot of shit.

Not recently though. several months ago, i got beat up and left on the ground, I grabbed my keys and went, never called the cops but until last week, his cousin called me up and said he'll be the witness that he seen it and now that guy is arrested. Im so proud of myself and really, thats the only thing im changing. My ways

I give a lot of trust to people when we first meet. im THAT easy going and once they fuck up, im done with them. i SHOULD demand attention but I dont because Im not like that. Im changing that

Again to blame me about the bad relationships I have, is stupid and im laughing. Im gonna be the better person here. What you see is what you get with me and I guess the men I dated, didnt like that, fuck em, they missed out on a good girl

Staying single to me is what I want to do for a LONG time. Over a year and counting now. and just because Im having trouble with a guy im "with" now doesnt mean I'll run to another guy because If I have to put up with shit just because of a simple "I miss hanging out.." or "I miss being actual friends" then fuck that too. and I wouldnt mind not having sex too

 

To be totally honest it sounds like your being the bitch/ bitchy one. Find a new partner. Peace

 

Originally Posted by Cherea
We have to be happy on our own. And yet, we cannot be happy on our own.

I'm on my own and have been for a very long time now and I am very happy. I have WAY less problems and stress than my friends, and I still have a very happy life. It all depends on your outlook. At this point in my life I don't want someone trying to put me on a chain plus I just like being alone. If that means giving up sex, than so be it. Sex never meant that much to me in any case. I have a hand. And I have no stress. In turn I am a very happy person. When I hear my friends bitch and moan and see them being led around like children, I smile and go to the beach and thank god I'm single right now. But everybodies different. Peace

P.S.- Happiness isn't a destination, it's a journey

 

Whatever. im SUCH a bitch to people that they gotta take it out on me just because they're stressed. Yeah makes total sense. GOD im SO dumb..................

 

who's stressed? Self pity isn't a good thing either. You shouldn't be so upset just because you didn't hear what you wanted to hear. If that's all you wanted may I suggest you go buy a magic eight ball.

 

THE GUY'S STRESSED! Fucking read my thread. NOW the bitch is coming out. He was stressed, he took out on me and now I got every one and their mothers blaming me and calling me a bitch for it. and its called sarcasm! If you read a thread it says "my smart ass self"

What I wanted to hear was descent advice. Hes an idiot for taking it out on me, the girl he gets all lovey with. hes fucked cause i aint going back if im gonna get treated that way. I figured it all out on my own cause I forgot, some of you people just like to put people down

 

I do try to base 97% of my existence on doing just that. Well, either way I'm glad you figured it out. Peace, I'm off to drown some kittens and beat up some nuns.

 

you do that.

 

sarcasm sweetheart. Maybe you should have a tea, maybe a laxative. Chill out a little.

 

im chill as a cucumber

 

i aint no bitch