@ Skeeter I too disagree with your statement that sexuality is fluid. I have always liked males and haven't felt anything for females. Try as I might, there are no feelings there for women, nothing what-so-ever. Just friendship. Period @Jester Just because they are twins doesn't necessarily mean there might not be any genetic anomaly's between the two. would they both have the same likes/ dislikes, IQ, couldn't one be an artist and the other can't draw stick figures, or one could be a musician and the other can't play the radio ? I didn't mean that to sound flippant, so I hope you don't take offense. Genetics is not fully understood, for instance I have blond hair and neither of my parents nor both sets of grandparents had blond hair ... so how did I get it ? and I am not adopted nor the son of the milkman LOL.
The ONLY thing you are living "proof" of is that YOUR sexuality is fluid. You cannot extrapolate your experiences onto the entire human race! I find algebra to be impossible. It is too vague or abstract for me to understand. This does not mean that everyone finds it abstract. Many would argue that mathmatics are relatively concrete.
Jester, are you saying that twins are identical in terms of genetics? One may be gay, and the other straight, but even twins have genetic differences, both internally and externally... Then, there's the whole thing with dominant and recessive traits, too. But I don't want to get into that. The gene pool is extremely diverse, where constant patterns occur. Anything could happen in terms of the genetic make-up of an infant. As for me, I know my homosexuality is genetic. In fact, it runs in the family. I have a lesbian cousin in California, and I had a second cousin who was gay. More directly, I had an uncle who was gay, my dad's brother. I believe that I inherited those gay traits from my relatives...After recognizing that I was gay, I realized that I always was, even back to when I was little. I never had any sexual interest in girls...For guys, I did...But back then, I thought that was normal, since I didn't know anything yet. And no, I had no contact with any of these people, either. So influence is out of the question.
I do think what he said was true but for him and from his own experiences of his sexuality. Society does play a part in people questioning their sexuality but it does not influence everyone to be one way or another. We are not all the same at the core or capable of feeling the same about every subject, a perfect example of this is that 2% of the population are psychopaths and they are generally incapable of feeling most things not even something as simple as empathy. Technically they don’t have a disorder but a difference in the way their brain functions and science proves there is also a difference in brain functions in some homosexuals. Also people who have mental disabilities or disorders are incapable of having the same perspectives as the majority of the population. So no experience isn't the only thing that sets us apart its naive to think that everyone is born the same mentally because it is simply not true. I didn't say homosexuality was genetic because I don’t know this for sure and if I’m homosexual and I don’t know then how can you possible hope to know for sure? I said I was born this way, however that doesn't automatically mean I claimed there is a genetic cause. I didn't say that no one chooses to be gay or straight I just said that I know for a fact that I didn't. There are different types or twins as well and their genetic similarities would depend on which kind they are. However I know twins who aren't exactly the same height and no ones claiming that one's made a decision to be shorter than the other.
I agree with you on that point. . It's one thing to be insecure about your own sexuality and admit to it (which is a difficult thing to do in and of itself). It's something else entirely to use your insecurity to justify putting down others who are quite content and secure with theirs. People who resort to verbal (or physical) gay-bashing -- whether they realize it or not -- are broadcasting an insecurity about their own sexuality, as far as I'm concerned. Otherwise, they wouldn't have a problem with gay people who are open about who they are (Unless, of course, the latter are acting obnoxiously in their own right -- Obnoxiousness certainly isn't exclusive to straight people). The worst offenders in that regard are people who are so gripped with self-loathing about their own homoerotic leanings -- a self-loathing that borders on paranoia -- that they feel a compulsion to lash out -- either verbally or physically -- against those who are "out of the closet." This is the REAL definition of homophobia -- an irrational fear of one's OWN homoerotic feelings. These individuals, by their actions, leave themselves vulnerable to being "outed." Case in point: Dr. Paul Cameron, a discredited psychologist and an advocate for "aversion therapy" to convert gay men to heterosexuality. Cameron spent years touting this therapy, repeatedly using highly graphic descriptions of gay male sex -- descriptions so graphic that only a man who's had sex with men himself could know. Sure enough, Cameron was eventually outed as "a wretched example of a self-hating closet case" by a Boston gay newspaper in 1999, exposing his frequent visits to gay men's bathhouses and sex clubs. He hasn't been publicly seen or heard from since. -- Skeeter
people dont really choose to be gay.... most the time..... some might if it'll make them look "cool", life if they're "bi" but they really just make out with other girls ONLY while boys are around to impress them but they really dont find any attraction to girls at all
What are you suggesting, Casey? That I'm a "fence-straddler" who refuses to choose between being gay or being straight? -- Skeeter
I never pretended to do so. But I know that I'm not the only bi person who holds to the belief that sexuality is fluid -- a belief that many gay people find threatening. Indeed, our very existence throws a "monkey wrench" into the thinking among those in the queer community who insist that there is only gay or straight and that bi people are "fence-sitters." To them, I politely say, "Bullshit." -- Skeeter
No, and why should you need to choose when your drawn to both sexes? You missed my point which was, in short, that because you are bisexual doesn't mean you should become close-minded to the possiblilty that we are not all bisexual. I didn't dismiss your sexuality just because i am gay as i understand that just because i am gay doesn't mean everyone else is secretly gay as well, all it means is that i am gay. On the other hand what you appear to be suggesting is that everyone must have a flexible sexuality based soley on that grounds that you have a flexible sexuality. By suggesting this your basically saying that we are all bisexual and we aren't.
Fuck reading the whole thread. There's loads of things people experience everyday or for their whole lives but which they can't explain. I doubt many straight people can explain as eloquently as this even a fraction of the reason that they're heterosexual. Does anyone really understand why they attracted to something? Moreover, can we either make this thread a sticky or start a fresh one? Seems like every other thread in here is asking the same question.
Are you fucking kidding me? All of this talking, and you end it saying it's our problem, that we know nothing of ourselves??? You know how long it has taken me to learn about myself (and still am) after struggling with self-acceptance over the fact that I am gay? Do you STILL really think homosexuality is JUST a choice, a choice over insecurities? Did you learn ANYTHING from this thread??? How DARE you tell us what to do about our so-called "insecurity issues."
Too many people have too little sense of humour about teh gayism. I mean, much as I love Snowdancer, the whole thing of using andogynous pronouns never fails to amuse. The whole hippy thing about sexality just bugs me, I don''t like it. It gives the entirely false impression that most homosexuals are somehow better adjusted and more knowledgeable about their sexuality then heterosexuals, which in my experience is total cock. that is all.
Get off yourn high horse, tard. Everyone, straight or gay, has sexual insecurities issues. Except Hugh Hefner et al. Letn he who is without sin, etc.
Agreed but they do not define us. I'm not even disagreeing that some people choose to act upon a certian sexuality however what i'm disputing is that this isn't the case for everyone. I choose to sleep with women but i dont choose not to be sexualy attracted to men.
Generalisations are fun. They stimulate debate and upset people who are too dumb to realise that they're not the centre of the universe. You could commence every post with "Obviously, this is just my opinion, and yours is equally valid to mine, and because everyone's entitled to their opinion we should all refrain from voicing them in case someone doesn't agree, and if I offend you I apologise, I didn't mean anything by it, please don't hurt me", but alternatively we could just take it as read and ignore it.
Because of the nature of our society, if someone doesn't specifically offer evidence of their sexuality, one assumes that they are (exclusively) heterosexual. This is a societal construct; without the existing convention of heterosexuality, there is no reason to assume that someone is not bisexual. Sorry, I'm not making this point very well. Point is, if you don't specifically say "I am pansexual", people will assume that you're heterosexual. So it's a choice to announce your condition.
What I mean is, if you have no evidence either way, if you just hear the person's name say, you'll more than likely assume they'll be heterosexual. It's the presumption rather than the reaction that I'm talking about.