Why do we have to pay for everything?

I always belived that if you ask some-one out on a date, reguardless of their gender, you paid. In my time of dating, we were young and living at home. Most of the young women didn't work yet and the dudes did, to support their cars. So the dudes paid. That was the way it was, and has been since creation of dating.
The mans goal being, 'a steady peice'(don't yell at me, I've heard men say this), with supper cooked, the house clean, the laundry done, raise the kids and so forth. Which we did for home, companionship and security and love.
With the coming of the 60s things started to change and Women's Rights came to be. Equal Rights to get paid the same as a man for the same job, Equal Rights for the woman as an equal partner in the home. Equailty as human beings, not under submission to the male. All that and more.
But as far as paying for a date, whom ever invites.
sh

 

are you saying you don't ever manipulate mentalities for your own benefit, or becuase its easier???
i highly doubt that.

a women may wear a low cut top for attention. and man may get into a street brawl for attention.. this is the epitomy of thickos here...but its what people do.. and there are many varying degrees to it.

feminism doesnt exist anymore...its outdated and has passed...maybe what you are seeing in women is manipulation... just as black guys will manipulate their 'ghetto roots' to get extra credit and money from their music...

everyone manipulates ...the few who dont are seriously cool people who are really experienced in life..maybe you need to broaden your horizons and meet people who dont sell themselves short to you...

 

People who are manipulative for materialistic purposes are the cause and origin of almost all of societys problems and deserve to be curved.

 

yes.. and thats 95 percent of us..

 

The way I see it, if I'm going to be having sex with someone , even with birth control, that that person needs to be stable (and yes that means financial too) enough to kick in with the responsibility of raising a child in case one is created. If dude can't buy one dinner now, then how in hell will he be able to seriously help put food on the table later.

 

I guess that would be a good argument for say a couple of 26 year olds. Lets say your both sophmores in highschool (like I'm a sophmore) and you both don't have jobs.

 

Seems that'd be double the reason not to work at getting pregnant.

 

So you don't want to support yourself then? hmm...

 

well, i suppose she doesn't want to be the only one supporting the family, i guess.

 

There's a difference between supporting yourself, and supporting a child that somebody else is also responsible for bringing into the world. When two people are responsible for one other person, both of those people need to support it.

It sounds, to me, that MamaTheLama is saying she is making sure she can support herself, because whomever she sleeps with isn't going to put her in a position where she can't support herself. We don't get pregnant by ourselves, and it's not just the mama's baby.

 

Guess that should become the litmus test of getting women, too. They should show signs of affluence and/or earning potential.

 

You're talking about a woman you might have kids with, right? Because if you don't want to financially support her and your kids all on your own, and you want to make sure that she can contribute, then yes, definitely.

 

RE: Because if you don't want to financially support her and your kids all on your own,

That's what I in fact am doing. She doesn't work - I support all four of us.
But hey, if it's about equality, maybe I should have overlooked her in favor of a lawyer or something. After all, I don't wanna be the only breadwinner..... right?

 

Lama, you've got to be kidding. The first date isn't about weather or not you're going to have kids. It's about weather or not you like each other's company. By the time you're ready to have sex, you should have a clear idea of his finances without him buying you dinner, and you should trust that he wouldn't walk out on you if he got you pregnant, which has nothing to do with weather or not he bought you dinner.

But your point, while completely ridiculous as far as realisticaly making sure your children are cared for, does strike close to the heart of the matter. This is an archaic holdover from a time when women looked to men as a source of resources and stability. It is extreamly insulting and frustrating to those of us who don't want to buy our pussy.

 

I said he needed to "help" put food on the table...not put it all there....read before you go nuts.
Chances are if he's so selfish as to not want to pay for even one dinner that he wont change just because a child shows up into the picture.
People don't change.
If they don't want to give or share, they never will. It'll be allllll about them and what they can get...free pussy, free food, free bed to sleep in. They don't want to put any real energy, love or caring into it....if they did they wouldn't mind kicking in some money. Think love like family....is your mom not going to help you out with $20 when you need it just because she thinks $ is evil...chances are no, because she loves you. Real love and loyalty and everything its built on isn't that friggin paranoid and tightassed.

 

Okay.... Well, I still stand by the rest of the sentence that you didn't quote, "and you want to be sure that she can contribute, then yes, definitely." The key words were, "don't want to," and, "want to be sure that she can contribute." Nobody said you have to find some rich lawyer wife... just that she's, say, literate and employable, if you need to have a second income. It was not meant personally, or against anyone.

 

seriously, when you're looking for a partner, do the sensible thing. find someone who matches your personality, physical requirements, and mental requirements. if they're not smart enough or don't agree with you about the support and raising of children, DON'T MARRY HER!! if you want a sugar mama, go get one. i'd be the last one to criticise you for it. after all, she's getting somethign out of it, too.

 

If he wants to pay for himself and not for you , you think that is selfishness, then you are wrong.

 

Fathers have a responsiblity to feed their kids and should love them, which they should not be respected to demonstrate before they are fathers by paying for the dinner of some girl who they like but are still figuring out if they love.

Then theres guys who think with their dick, and all they do want is pussy, but then its not really a serious relationship because the people are stupid, and stupid people aren't very capable of having serious relationships. So it won't matter if he pays for you or not, becuase if you marry him your a dumbass.

The same goes vice versa for girls paying for themsevles, but the important thing is that you two work out a system that works based on what you want and not on what society fuckign expects.

Don't conform to society, society is twisted.

 

Lama, you surprise me. Do you really think that what we're saying is that men shouldn't have to contribute anything? That we should expect women to pay for everything? If so, you're not paying very much attention. The title of this thread is "why do we have to pay for everything," not "why do we have to suport our kids." And the issue is that women aren't putting in their fair share when dating.

I could turn around that argument you're making onto women, y'know. If she can't afford to buy her own meal now, than how can I expect her to help put food on the table when we have kids?

See, it's not that he CAN'T afford to pay for your meal. It's that he SHOULDN'T HAVE TO. He doesn't love you yet. It's your first date. He doesn't have to prove his love. And buying a meal is a piss poor way to prove love, or to prove capacity to love, if you ask me.

He shouldn't expect you to pay, either. He shouldn't be looking for free food. But neither should you. You should split the expense. Or maybe one of you should pay, whatever you work out. But the standard of the man paying all the time sucks for us.

And what's this about free pussy? You think men should have to pay for pussy, like it's on the frikkin' meat market? Well, that's what they're doing when they pay for the meal. They're not proving their capacity to raise children, to love them and to suport them financialy. They're participating in the meat market because they know the way to get pussy is to pay up.

But I think that the good pussy is free. Or rather it's priceless. And you should be every bit as upset about your pussy being a comodity as I am, except that you're too used to getting paid for it.