Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

4th degree burns

 

I had to whoop someone's ass.

 

Its laundry day

 

i'm on a pilgrimage

 

Thats right I got lost on the contorted hermit mount

 

i gave the soles of my shoes away in a competition.

 

I have amnesia and couldn't remember where I work...

 

i need to feed the cat, hourly.

 

Can't get my hubby off me....

 

i don't want to risk cutting myself with the pencil sharpener, again

 

Someone stole all my clothes

 

i stood on the cat and it's gone into cardiac arrest

 

i cant stop drinking pepsi

 

I'm trying to get my gun back from the police...

 

I tripped over a dwarf and shattered my kneecap.

 

i was stung by a bee in each eye, im blind for a few weeks.

 

I'm appearing on the jeremy kyle show this afternoon

 

i just won 5 bucks

 

im in peru.

 

book club comes first