Wierdest reasons for not coming into work.

I think it going to rain

 

i list my shoelaces

 

the sky is lifting

 

I can't get the door opened

 

Im out of cheese

 

i lost it and had to go onto a psyc ward for a month involontary , the reason for loosing it being that you worried to much and thus u had to go in

 

I cain't find my teeth....

 

I doing some farmin'

 

cant find my car , it snowed so bad that the drifts are almost as high as the first story of the house / apt buiding

 

My puppy was using my cellphone.

 

my doctor says to stay home

 

condom stuck on my dick

 

have too much money.

 

my ass is cracked

 

cops have my house surrounded

 

can't tie my shoes

 

I was trying to untie my shoelace with a fork and I poked myself in the eye
I HATE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!

 

i sent my roommate instead

 

unemployed..uninspired...

 

the clouds told me to kill today