It's possible. When my wife was a senior in high school, she let her boy friend do just about everything to her EXCEPT fuck her. He played with her nude body from head to toe, he finger-fucked her, he ate her pussy, but he never fucked her and she never gave him a blowjob. He wanted to... really bad... but she refused, citing fear of pregnancy. She wasn't on birth control pills at the time and neither of them (for whatever reason) considered condoms.
Form a female POV, one has hope that your partner has had a past. I'm not a trainer. I'm not Svengali. I have a life, a rich and varied life, prior to my current partner. His, not so populated with women. And that actually makes it hard. He is clueless in ways that astound me. And sometimes I do feel like Svengali. Ick. I know the OP hails from a less sex positive/repressive culture. Just by the question. So, of course asking on a libertine board is going to get the responses he's gotten. But here is a question to keep the discussion going: How much of a past do you want to know? Vague, details, blow-by-blow accounts? I like hearing the stories. They give away a lot about expectations and values. But, I'm not that upfront about asking. I don't want a scorecard. And I don't want to give mine.
Please don't take this wrong, but how did you get all of that from just a one-line post and no follow-up posts? I'm like you, in fact maybe even more so. If my wife had had other sex partners prior to me, I'd want her to describe each thrust from the guy she was fucking. And I AM upfront about asking, much to my wife's discomfort. I want details. That's why, when we were in a threesome with a close (male) friend many years ago, I insisted on always being present when they fucked, because I knew I'd never get any kind of comprehensive story from her afterwards. She is reasonably open about other aspects of sex, but she HATES to talk about it. As you can probably guess, this is very frustrating for me.
I always had a really hard time with my partners past but those were my insecurities, I had a bad childhood with abuse so hiding things was a skill that I perfected. With years of counselling I have learned that my insecurities are the issue and I worked with it. I will never ask for a play by play but if we bump into an ex I don't want them to run, introduce and move on. I tell them that if they ask the question I will answer and would appreciate the same but their past is their past. It's our past that made us who we are today so it has value.
And you believe that. Lol You have no way to check the validity of those claims, and women know that the world is full of insecure men so they would rather feed them fairytales instead of facts in order to avoid having to deal with their crying. "But-but.. I'm sure she would want to share every single detail of her life with me!!!" Not when the detail in question is something that she would rather forget about herself. A woman may have had a previous sexual encounter(s), but if she has always been conditioned to view sex outside of a relationship/marriage as wrong and sinful, she likely won't be itching to bring it up afterwards.
I don't know how everyone else operates, but I have been totally open and honest about my past with my fiancé and I believe he has been with me, as well. We both have relatively colorful pasts, sex is an important part of our lives, but certainly not everything. Talking about it and feeling comfortable with each other's past is one way we know we are compatible together. The past is really only interesting as you're trying to get to know one another. After that, the past is the past and it's all about the future.
nope, physically impossible. once she is nude she becomes incapable of saying the word "no" and her vagina starts sucking in penis like a black hole.
I knew her from a young girl and she was an innocent yet openly enthusiastic lover, - sadly it did not last as long as one would have liked - still - 2 daughters that still sparkle, I guess made up for it
I don't really understand why a guy would worry about a woman's past or desire a partner who is inexperienced. When I play tennis I don't look for someone who's never been on the court before, do I? Good sex is a learned skill, like many things in life. Before we met, my wife and I had prior marriages that didn't work out. She loves sex and had had a reasonable number (15-20) of partners in her life. So had I. People who like sex go out and have sex. We've told each other about our pasts and it was often entertaining in the 'I can't believe I did that!' way. Good stories. We share a great sex life, have been monogamous for 20 years, and have two great kids. I'm not jealous of the guys in her past, since one way or another they helped, at least a bit, to make her into the woman I love.
I agree with you entirely. Thing is, some people are amateurs at tennis and would rather not play someone hugely experienced, simply because they're intimidated. Which is obviously fair enough, but the sad part about it is when they attempt to rationalise it by making up various excuses for why the more experienced party is supposedly not good enough for them instead! Nope kiddo, I'm afraid you got it all mixed up..
My husband was experienced and yet I (virgin) had to teach him how to pleasure me. Experience does not equal great lover.
True, however a strong correlation between skills and experience obviously exists. One of the advantages of experience is that you (should) notice how different people respond to different things, and avoid getting stuck with one specific formula or even becoming insulted when your partner wants to try something different, which is sometimes a trouble with people who are inexperienced AND insecure.
Been a mod on a few versions of HF since 1998. I was a reporter, and I often translate awkward English into American or British English now. Basically, I've read a lot of the one or two post wonders from usually Islamic countries with very naive points of view about sex and women. A sixth sense, perhaps.
a marriage was not legal between us at the time we were together, but my last long term partner had never been with anyone up until we met (she was 26)
Over 25 but she wasn't counting when we started dating at 16. There were a few more after and since we've been married.
She lost her virginity at a young age to a neighbor boy, but didn't have sex again until college. We started dating in high school, but she was allowed to date others in college when I wasn't available. I suspected she was having sex with them, but I didn't know for sure until after we had been married a few years. I asked her if she had sex with the guys in college, and she said, "Yes, some of them." That didn't bother me at all, and I have enjoyed hearing her tell of her sexual adventures over the years.
