Would You Ever Cheat And Why?

Does your husband know him or only knows about him?

Does your 'crush' know you are attracted to him?

I tell you women have a sixth sense. My wife picked up I was attracted to this woman. I decided to come out and tell her about the crush. She was not happy.

I'm actually glad I got the opportunity to share it with her. It was sitting heavy on my chest. At times it felt as if I was cheating.

Fortunately for me I have left the company where we both worked.

 

It would only be cheating if you told your wife you were at the office. To those of us who went thru the "Free Luv" era and have had multiple sexual partners to where sex seemed as natural as eating, this is a good analogy.

All indications are that our species is not monogamous and that is an artificial, cultural construct. And, ppl believe it as a given just as they believe the religion handed to them by their parents without any critical exploration otherwise. Again, those of us who did a lot of sexual exploring in the '60s saw a sexual worldview different than the "one man & one woman for life" model.

I have had a couple of long-term relationships and actually was married to a woman for 15 of our 18 years together. We went into our relationship with her knowledge that I was bisexual and she was cool with that. We had great sex together and like most married guys I had my nite out with the boys.

IDK if she realized that the boys and I were sexually intimate. I never said "Hey, you know my gay friend you met at breakfast and really hit it off with ..." or "You know my gay cousin visiting from out town that we spent the day with..." So, maybe that was cheating. However, I did not see anything stolen from our relationship and that was what was important to us.

During those years together I did become infatuated with two women but never acted on either one. One woman I met on a trip and was so enamored of her that when my wife picked me up at the bus station I told her all about it, because we were partners and who else could I share my feelings with. She was only concerned how this would affect our relationship and even told me to go visit the object of my infatuation and get it out of my system. (I didn't go - the other woman and I were too similar and one of us woulda killed the other within a couple of days together) But, had I done that i would not consider it cheating.

 

Pre 20's I thought no human on Earth can be only with one person, but then I fell in love and understand why people are monogamous. I defiantly think not all people are and that's not a evil thing it needs to be accepted and non monogos should be together and happy and not fuck one on one people up by pretending they are the same. I think generally if someone is sexually satisfied, and satisfied in most other ways and feels loved they won't cheat, which means they would be with a suitable partner who wants what they want from life too. I would be heart broken if I were cheated on so I would never do it, even if a young pretty robert plant came along I would at least try run away but probably slip from all my drool

 

I met this person on here actually. Yes, my husband has met him in person and they have actually become very good friends. They have talked every single day since March. The friend even sent my husband a gift when he got a new job. Kinda weird, huh? They are very much alike which is probably what drew me to that person to begin with.

Both my husband and this guy know how I feel. The feeling is mutual with the friend. My husband is aware of all of it but knows he has nothing to worry about. He's secure enough in himself and our marriage to not feel threatened by it.

 

You sure them two arent gettin it awwwwn?

 

That's the most dangerous possible scenario.

 

No, I wouldn't. I've been cheated on in the past and I know how gut-wrenchingly painful it is. I would never inflict this on someone I care about.

 

I will never be as confident as your husband!

Once an acquaintance complemented me on how lucky I was I got a good beautiful woman, etc. referring to my wife. I could easily see it wasn't just a complement but he was very attracted to her.

I never phoned him again and decided he would not be visiting my house again.

But, hold on. Back to your comment abive, I think there is something fishy going on here Ruby.

It's either, as Vanilla Gorilla says, they've got something going on between the two of them or they are setting you up for a threesome!

Just watch, you will find yourself in an inexplicable situation with both of them resulting in a threesome. I think they are engineering something behind your back and pretending as if they like each other.

 

I think there is too much concern about the possibilities. If her husband and the friend have a few moments of intimacy together without her knowledge, she would be no worse off for it. (My wife's rule was "Don't bring anything home - no babies and no diseases). Still, the fine point of "cheating" is the sneaking around. It would be nice if the two guys wanted to be intimate and told the wife they wanted to try male/male love or better yet ask her if she would like to join in a 3-way.

I suppose my attitude was formed by my great experiences in the Sexual Revolution of the late '60s.

From my Sexual History - Free Luv - 1970

(You had to have been there)

[SIZE=11pt]Marcia and I had an immediate though brief sexual relationship, as I suspect Marcia had with most of her male friends. She and her household were exploring progressive sexual attitudes and I quickly joined in. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]Frolicking is the only word to describe some of our actions at this time, such as four of us cramming into the shower stall together. There was little room to move, but we lathered with soap and rotated and rubbed against each other. Marcia couldn't resist the chance to hold Ron's and my penis at the same time. We all dried each other off and by this time I wasn't self conscious about having a hard on in front of so many people.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=11pt]While I was enjoying cavorting with this new sister I had met, I wasn't aware of Gary, her ol' man who was away working on an oil rig in the Gulf. When he came back it could have been an ugly scene, the primitive competition of two males for a female. Though he was a little displeased with Marcia for a while, he didn't blame me and we became good friends. There was no real loss to him that I was fucking his ol' lady while he was away, and they resumed their relationship, which now included me as another close brother. Marcia and I were no longer sexually intimate even though there was often opportunity in Gary's absence, for I knew that it would infringe on my relationship with him. There was now a trust between us that any changes in our relationship would be openly communicated.[/SIZE]

 

Since I was with them every second of the time they met and the friend lives 2000 miles away I'm certain they aren't "gettin it awwwwn".

It is but since I will never act on it I'm glad they are friends and get along. My husband knows this guy isn't a threat to our marriage.

I've proven over 19 years that I don't want to go anywhere else. That's why he's confident in our marriage. We actually have a friend that lives here that makes comments to me a lot. Most of the time in front of everyone including both of our spouses but every so often its privately. I'm very careful about how I respond to him and I make sure I tell my husband everything he says to me privately so there aren't any secrets. My husband knows there is no attraction there from me and if this guy ever actually tried anything it would be a looooong time before he would be able to use his dick again.

I'm already ahead of you on the threesome thing. My husband isn't down for it. I've already talked to him about it. The friend and I would be down but the husband isn't so its a no go.

I think you are all underestimating how honest my husband and I are with each other. We don't really keep secrets from each other. Neither one of us are the jealous type. If this marriage isn't where we wanted to be we wouldn't be married anymore. It's pretty much that simple.

 

I admire your self control... and your husband's.

I wouldn't be able to manage such a situation.

 

Personally I wouldn't cheat and I don't think that cheating is ok in any way shape or form. If you're with someone then you're with them alone unless other things are agreed upon by both people before entering the relationship. Just because she isn't "doing things in bed that he likes" isn't an excuse or and neither is it the go ahead for him to cheat. It sounds as though it's something that they need to talk about and see if they can reach a compromise with their preferances. I can't see why she wouldn't be willing to try at least some things that are outside of her comfort zone if she loves her husband that much?

 

here is a good reason to not cheat

http://img.thesun.co.uk/aidemitlum/archive/02557/car3_2557173a.jpg

 

I won't say so, as I don't make my partner believe we have a long term, monogamous relationship if I don't love him.

 

No. My wife and I dated nearly eight years before we married the summer she graduated from college. She had several sex partners in college, while I had none. Our first sex together was on our wedding night. My reason for waiting was that I loved her too much to ever deliberately do anything to hurt her, including risking pregnancy. Now pregnancy isn't an issue, but I would still never do anything to hurt her.

 

This seems a bit odd to me. You say you didn't want to get her pregnant yet, during that same time, there were apparently several other guys that might do just that. The thing that abstaining bought you (is sounds like) is that, if she DID get pregnant, you could be certain that the child wasn't yours. Consequently, it seems that there was nothing to be gained by refraining from having sex with her except for possibly a sense of moral superiority. Am I missing something?

 

yes, $1,000,000+

 

Yes, you've missed the point entirely. It's not moral superiority, it's known as love for the other person. Also,I did not know she was having sex with other guys until she told me after we had been married a few years.

 

Ah. See, that last sentence clears it up completely for me.

 

Cheating entails deception, and no, I wouldn't do that. If I had a strong desire to have sex with other people, I'd tell my significant other, propose a threesome, and make sure we were both on an even keel and open minded about it. If I realized that I was in love with another person, I would just end the relationship ASAP. I've done it in the past. But just sex? I'm as open as my partner is.