Would You Ever Consider Adopting A Child???

My best friend was adopted from Korea when she was 2 or 3, and her parents are the most amazing people I've ever met. They couldn't have children due to complications with her mom and diabetes, but they spent years trying to get her. Now she's a spoiled brat (and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible) but there's no lack of love in the house. I would love to adopt, but I want to have my own children first. Idealistically, I would like to have 4 children of my own and then, finances permitting, have foster children. If I was to adopt, I would definatly adopt from South America because I know one thing my best friend has always lacked was a good cultural understanding of where she's from. She's been to Korean camp with other adoptees but since she moved from New York when she was little, there's been nothing like that for her here. If I were to adopt, I'd want to be able to bring up my child with an understanding of his/her own culture and the culture of Latin America is one thing I could help out with.

DakotasMom.. there needs to be more people like you. Adopting parents are always the sweetest, most good hearted people and I love your story.

 

*sniff* Geez, you've got me in tears. That's absolutely beautiful Kathi. You're a wonderful, wonderful person.

Many hugs and pats on the back...

 

I have to admit, that I wouldn't consider adoption until I know I can't bear a child of my own. That is something that is important to me. I have awful baby craving sometimes.

I would always want to foster if I had the means to. They need loving parents more than brand new babies do. There is an endless supply of people out there who want to adopt. Not many want grown children, children from broken, even abusive, homes. It would mean more to me if I did that. If I couldn't have a child of my own, I would work incredibly hard to become a foster mom and have as many kids as they allow.

 

I hope I don't offend anyone here, but this whole concept of "Having my own children" is offensive to most adoptive parents. I have six children that are all my own. Five of them grew under my heart and one grew in it. No matter where they were for the first nine months of their lives, they are all my children.

Thank you for all the kind words. But I didn't adopt to "rescue" a child or to "save" a poor child or for any other reason than I wanted another child. I could possibly have gone to heroic measures and gave birth again, but why. There are so many children out there that need homes. So it was mutually beneficial.

You're right HeadyMoeChick, there are so many older kids out there that need homes. Most people want the cuddly little babies. It's sad that we live in a society where a five year old is considered unadoptable because she is too old. Many agencies will do free or almost free adoptions for older kids or kids with special needs. Yes, older kids may come with a lot more problems, but the rewards are so great when you know you have helped turn someone's life around.

Adoption is a great way to grow your family.

Kathi

 

I said what I did becaus eit's true. I can't help it. Children are very expensive and I dont' mean to offend, but if I'm going to make those sacrifices, including all the non-financial sacrifices, I want to try and do it for my own child first. I'm sorry, but that's just how I feel. If I had tons of money, I would do both. But unfortunately I am not rich or don't see myself ever being rich. I DO know that if I ever have the resources to have another child, I would foster children. Or if I could help another child wihtout having to increase my cost (I know of a few families that get help from the state every month for being foster parents) of lving I would do so. But why would I have a baby and adopt if I can only afford 1 child?

I know it may be selfish of me to want my own flesh and blood child, but it's just how I feel and I can't help that.

 

Kathi, i know what you mean about the "i want to have my own children first" people. An adopted child IS your own child!

But, in all honesty, i can't really say which way i'd go about it, if i had actually planned the timing of my motherhood. All three of my kids surprised me!

 

There's a chance that I may never be able to have kids...even before I found that out, I still wanted to adopt.

Adoption can be a great thing...I hope I have the opportunity to experience it one day...even if I do have children of my own.

 

As much as I would love to adopt a child... even though I have almost 3 of my own... my husband is ademantly (sp?) against it stating that we don't know the child's backgroud and that could be hazardous to our own natural children.