zengizmo's Psi Hi Thread

So in your postings you’ve been met with skepticism – I don’t believe it



Hotwater

 

If you've never read "The Country of the Blind" by H G Wells, I strongly recommend it. I feel a LOT like the guy with eyes in the country of the blind...of course I'm sure YOU never feel that way, do you?

 

Ok, I am most curious about the "telepathic abilities" of your wife, which you shared...or rather, I guess I picked up or felt that if she were not an excellent "receiver and sender" perhaps y'all's relationship would have proceeded differently. And another quick thought, could one of your offspring have a "heightened" something, a stronger muscle because of you 2?

Also, have you found yourself drawn in r/l (I have, btw), to people that experience "visions", have had supernatural experiences, or however you want to phrase it? I do realize all of these "types" of phenomena are different; and yet, they are much the same.

 

Lynn, these are interesting questions - kinda broad though, and some involve long stories and a lot of conjecture - which is why I'm writing a book... Also this is getting a bit outside the parameters of this thread...however I'll give you a few nutshell answers.

My wife's psychic abilities: Oh yes. She's quite psychic, all right. The first time I was ever with her in person, there was a night that she sat with me in her dark car, talking, and I had a weird feeling of being in the presence of a powerful witch from some medieval time. However she's unaware of what she's doing, and she's afraid of admitting it, cuz some of it is not so nice, and she can't admit to her darker side.

Hmmm...I think I'll throw in an "unofficial" story, about my wife, to illustrate some of what I said about her.

In late 1999 my wife was major pissed at me. Our marriage had deteriorated, and I admitted to her that I was having a mental affair with another woman. She was a bit of a basket case.

One night I was trying to get to sleep, and my wife was sitting in the living room on the other side of the wall from our bedroom. I started dozing off, and was suddenly awakened by a vivid vision of my wife standing over me in my bed, bringing a long kitchen knife up over her head with both hands, and then plunging it into my chest.

I got out of bed, opened the bedroom door, and turned the corner to the living room. My wife was sitting on the sofa, but as soon as she saw me she jumped to her feet with an expression of guilt and fear. I didn't say or do anything, just stood there looking at her. Her expression relaxed, but she remained standing, and said, "Why did you get up - couldn't sleep?" I just looked at her a moment more. Then I said, "Yeah," in a sarcastic tone, turned around, and went back to bed.

I'll bet that if I said anything to her now about this incident, she would claim not to remember it. She tends to have a selective memory about things like this.

None of my four kids shows any psychic talent so far. Of course, my own talent didn't really develop until I got older. You know about my 15-year-old daughter, of course - it's hard to tell if any element of her mental health issues are psychically related or not, at this point. I guess maybe time will tell. She has never said anything so far that has borne out any confirmable psychic truth.

As far as being drawn to people with supernatural experiences - jeezus Lynn, they come to ME. People much more gifted than I am...it really makes me wonder sometimes wtf is going on with my life...
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Copyright (c) 2010 by Richard Bryant Reinertson - all rights reserved

 

you're getting prepped.

 

You said what I've been thinking.

 

#4: Telepathy 101

Maybe it's time to broach the subject of telepathy.

I learned to "listen" telepathically starting in late 1999. In late 2002, I started talking telepathically to a woman in my office named Deanna, who had dropped some broad hints of her abilities, had hung around with me at break times chatting for several months, had finally allowed me to "catch" her saying something about my thoughts that she shouldn't have known, and finally when I confronted her with this, admitted to having abilities that some people found scary.

I had lunch with her in December 2002, and discussed my weird psychic experiences and some respective hell in both our lives. Afterward, back at my desk, I sent her an email asking to see her at afternoon break, and she replied that she would like that.

I showed up at the gathering spot outside the entrance to her building at the appointed time. She wasn't there yet.

In my mind I said, "Are you coming down?"

Telepathically she replied, "I'll be out soon - I need to talk to some people."

A few minutes later she appeared and stood with me in a corner of the alcove, lighting a cigarette. "I was in a meeting," she told me out loud.

I pushed aside my qualms and said out loud, "I talk to you in my mind. Do you hear me?"

Blowing out cigarette smoke, she nodded and said aloud, "I was telling you I was coming out soon."

------------------------

Fast-forward to a few months later. She and I were exchanging emails. She said something in an email about her dad being a retired teacher. In my mind, I asked what subject her dad had taught. "History," Deanna replied in my mind.

When I saw her at break time that afternoon, I decided to try for a confirmation. I asked her out loud, "So...what subject did your dad teach?"

She looked at me for a moment before replying. "History," she said out loud.

I said, "That's what you told me this morning!"

She looked at me as if I were a bit of a dunce and sarcastically said, "Yeah!"

---------------------------

Another time she and I and another woman I'll call "Maura" were outside talking. I was leaning against the wall facing the street, Maura was leaning against the perpendicular wall to my left, facing me, and Deanna was in front of me, facing me.

We had a short exchange, making snide remarks - I don't remember about what, however I remember very well what followed. I said something that was a sly poke, and Deanna replied with a remark that sounded like she was genuinely pissed.

In my mind, I asked her, "Are you trying to start a fight?" I said nothing out loud.

Immediately Maura wordlessly pushed off the wall next to me and walked into the building entrance. Deanna looked down at the sidewalk, slowly walked over to me to lean against the wall next to me, and then said out loud, in a very low voice, "No, we're not trying to start a fight."
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Copyright (c) 2010 by Richard Bryant Reinertson - all rights reserved

 

Oh my Zg...no, you've been tested, and continue to be - as you like. Do I recall you telling earlier somewhere that Deanna is sick?
Do you use these specific skills you described ^ with anyone now?

Cause you could/should document this, scientifically, objectively. jmo

 

It's all for a purpose, Lynn. As I write about these things, I see how events have been arranged to give me just what I need for the book I'm writing and all the testing works in me to strengthen me and give me insights.

Deanna was diagnosed with cancer in 2005. Apparently she thought the treatments worked, but then she got another diagnosis of cancer in 2008. When I started writing to her again in 2008, she told me she was dying. I was in mourning for her expected death for months - but then, at the beginning of this year, she received a test that showed her being cancer-free - and this test is only needed once every ten years.

She keeps a miracle journal. Her cancer cure certainly seems like one of her miracles.

I was very relieved and happy too, of course.

Deanna has been with me telepathically 24/7 since the end of 2002. We converse that way all the time, even though I'm now 1200 miles away from her. There are a few others I've done this with - one is also "present" in my mind all the time, but doesn't usually talk much. I used to be able to talk telepathically to random people when I felt like it - I'm not allowed as much leeway as I used to be - I seem to have reached a point where "somebody" thinks I've been given everything I need, and now I just need to buckle down and write my damn book. So it's kind of like I'm being coralled.

I can't do this on my own, Lynn. I can only do this with people who are way more psychically gifted than I am - people like Deanna. My "skills" such as they are would not be testable scientifically. On normal tests of psychic ability, my performance is about average, or maybe just slightly better.

What people need to understand is - to paraphrase something Bob Dylan once said about himself - psychic ability doesn't come out of a cereal box. It doesn't give you the same results every time you push a button. It has a personality, in a sense. It's not like a machine - it's more like an entity - sometimes it will do things for its own reasons, and if it doesn't want to cooperate, it might have very good reasons for that.

If you asked someone like Deanna to submit to a scientific test to demonstrate her abilities - which are vast, in my experience - she would probably say something like the deadpan, tongue-in-cheek statement she gave me one day: "I'm just an ordinary human being." And she simply wouldn't do it. If she were forced to do it she would mess with the scientists' minds and give them unremarkable results. And at the end, just before leaving, she would probably make a quiet remark that would be a comment on one of the scientists' innermost thoughts or personal life - and then she would quickly walk out, before anyone could question her. Just my guess - based on my experience with her behavior. (And in my mind she just laughed and said, "That would be fun.")

Deanna and people like her are kind of living Buddhas. They don't reveal themselves to anyone just cuz they're asked. They act as spiritual guides, and there is no way in hell you will get anything more than vague hints of their abilities unless you commit yourself to a serious, sincere spiritual path - and allow yourself to be broken, saddled, and ridden. ("Do what you want," Deanna just told me in my mind. This is a sarcastic statement she often makes to me - to remind me that what I'm allowed to get away with is under strict control.)

As Deanna once wrote to me in an email: "Logic has nothing to do with anything." People who insist on scientific proof of these things in front of witnesses will never, ever get to see any of it - except maybe out of the corner of their eyes, for brief moments, when nobody else is looking. It's only when you put your life and your ego on the line, give up your pretenses and control, and submit to having your pride and preconceived notions shaken to their foundations that you're allowed the gift of witnessing and participating in these kinds of miracles.

Trying to "prove" anything to anyone about any of this stuff is a sure way to end up being humiliated. I think the only reason I have the opportunity to talk about these things openly is that apparently the time seems to be right for it, and I've had to go through hell and learn some very unpleasant truths about myself so that I'm not tempted to think too highly of myself for being allowed to play this role.

And also: The experiences I've been given seem to be carefully controlled, so there's only so much I can say. I can tell stories that are compelling and thought-provoking - but my stories in no way constitute proof of anything. It's as if I'm being fed just the experiences needed for a book that will be sufficiently compelling to lead some people to seek a spiritual path. The goal is not to "prove" that these things happen - the goal is to fish for more seekers. My stories and my book are just one of many avenues the spirits can use for this purpose.

The spirits create our desires to act as carrots on a stick, to motivate us to endure various kinds of hell that accomplish spiritual goals in our lives. I think that writing my book is my carrot, and that when I accomplish that goal I'll be allowed to see as well as Deanna and her spiritual cohorts. Deanna wrote me an email several months ago in which she quoted a phrase from the opening to one of my favorite computer games, Morrowind - she told me: "You have been chosen."

Of course, she could have just been messing with me. Or out of her stinkin' mind.

And maybe I'm wrong about all of this...but in my mind, Deanna just told me, "Babe...finally you are seeing." Mm-hmm. Time will tell, I suppose. It could all be lies, bullshit, or insanity...
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Copyright (c) 2010 by Richard Bryant Reinertson - all rights reserved

 

OK, I just freakin loved all that ^^^^.

I guess I wanted to pin down if you wanted to "prove" something, or thought you were going to...because I believe that for those that choose to deny anything about telepathy or things of an esoteric nature...choose to close their eyes, choose ignorance over knowledge. So, I certainly could not care less about "proof" (lol); but hearing both sides -your's and the other's "side" of how things appeared or were heard, is quite interesting.

I've often heard, and even said those words about being chosen. whatthehell ever that really means. huh

I've also wondered if there were only certain limits to what a person would be allowed to "do"...or I guess it's according to the individiual's level if one is able to do something.

I do totally agree with telepathy (like other skills) can be like unto an entity itself, and (lol) it certainly doesn't come in a cereal box nor with instructions.

I personally do believe there are certain guidelines that aide one on a desired spiritual journey; however, there are certainly no guarantees of what you will achieve. Furthurmore, I believe we are basically "chosen" at birth...
whatever that means.

 

There is a prohibition, the self organizing principle of life. It is the only prohibition and in that single prohibition we may find, grace.

 

That's exactly it, Lynn - we are ALL "chosen" - for one thing or another.

Deanna has been "chosen" to be the supernatural goddess figure of my book with her profound, inscrutable wisdom (she's chuckling in my mind). God, I would love that role - except for one thing: Talk about the hell I've gone through - I don't know if I would want to trade for the hell she's endured. And besides, the role is much more appropriate for a woman - especially one of diminutive physical stature, like Deanna. It's the spirits' way to thumb their nose at our patriarchal society that assigns higher social status to tall males.

More thoughts regarding "proof": There's a difference between unselfconscious search for knowledge and truth versus ego justification via authoritative methods. The latter approach breeds dogmatism and rigidity, because of the need to always be "right." The spiritual path is designed to trick and ridicule the ego at every turn, so that it finally in effect says, "Fuck it, I dunno nuthin," and gives up trying to assert itself and control everything - gives up the need to be "right." At that point a person becomes teachable, and can start seeing things as they are instead of as they would like them to be.

Also as one becomes more open to reality, one acquires greater understanding, and one's desires fall more and more into line with the will of the spirits. As this happens, one's "abilities" can also be allowed to increase. Deanna has said in my mind that she would love to stop doing some of the shit she's been doing to me - but she keeps at it because she sees clearly that the benefit to me and to everyone else will be much greater in the long run if she continues giving me hell to deal with in the short term.

My problem is that my heart is still too heavy. It's like the ancient Egyptian mythology regarding the weighing of the hearts of the dead. The jackal-headed god Anubis would weigh the hearts of the dead against Ma'at, the goddess of truth - represented symbolically as an ostrich feather. Only if the heart was lighter than the feather would the soul be allowed to proceed to Osiris - immortality.

In my mind, Deanna constantly talks about how I should be having fun. When I talk about being pissed, she counters, "You're fun." When I'm going through hell, she says, "You're having fun." Maybe when my heart is light enough to see hell as fun, as she apparently does, and quit taking myself so damn seriously, then I'll be able to rise to a higher level.
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Copyright (c) 2010 by Richard Bryant Reinertson - all rights reserved

 

Like so many of the things Deanna says to me, your "explanations" just push me to think harder to find my own understandings.

 

Oddly enough I’ve never read it but heard it played-out several times on various old-time radio dramas (i'm a big fan of old-time radio dramas)

.....“in the county of the blind, a one-eyed man can be king” :2thumbsup:



Hotwater

 

Right That's how the saying goes...but of course, in the story Wells shows that it ain't necessarily so. The seeing man couldn't "prove" to the blind folks that he had a sense that they didn't.

 

Laughter
True, deep laughter is an almost well-kept secret.
It can be like medicine.
It can lighten the load, help find the truth and (for a time) maintain the sanity.

 

Very true, Lynn. Laughter has amazing powers.

There are some days however when I'm so pissed I'm determined not to laugh at anything. Today is one of those days.

 

Also Lynn, btw: Thanks for all your questions and commentary. Your thinking is very much in line with mine, which is a helpful confirmation for me. I also think your questions led the thread in some useful and needed directions.

 

This is an incident already in my book, again involving Deanna. I'm not proud of my attitude and actions at the time - but it shows the extent to which enduring hellish treatment and conditions can twist one's mind, and to that extent it represents an authentic reflection of the human condition at times. This happened in 2003 - in May or thereabouts, I believe:

I sat at my desk in my office, silently raging. The way Dani had taunted me and turned my life into hell with her lies burned away at my gut. I wanted revenge. I wanted to turn her life into the kind of hell she had made of mine. My burning rage had taken me beyond most vestiges of reason and caring. I was standing at the far frontiers of my self-control.

I knew I couldn’t do anything to her directly and get away with it. But maybe I could sacrifice myself in a way that would create some hell for her.

I wrote a note on a piece of paper. The note said, “If I’m found dead, the person responsible is Danielle Dupree.” I folded the note and slid it into the inside back cover of the Edgar Cayce book Deanna had given me a few months before, where I was sure it would eventually be found if I turned up dead.

I didn’t have any actual plan for sacrificing my life. I hadn’t thought it through. I was just indulging my yearning for revenge, and this piece of addle-brained cunning, laughable though it was in the light of calm, rational examination, temporarily relieved the burning in my gut.

As I started to think about my work again, an e-mail message from Deanna appeared in my in-box.

“You’re scaring me,” her note said.

Her note startled me. I felt a twinge of panic at this apparent demonstration of her knowledge of my most secret intentions. But after my initial shock I decided I shouldn't assume she was referring to the note I had just written. I decided to play it cool and see how far she would take this.

“Scaring you? What am I doing that’s scaring you?” I wrote with feigned innocence.

Her reply came back quickly. “There’s something…is this possible? Yes, you put something in the book I gave you. This is disturbing. I may need to discontinue our association.”

I was surprised and a bit amazed at how far she had stuck her neck out. She had demonstrated her powers for me very clearly in enduring solid form. She had also shown that she cared about me, and that she was trying to bring me back to a safer and more loving attitude. Part of me was grateful for all this. Yet part of me still felt justified in my desire for vengeance. In my mind I asked her, “After all Dani has done to me, who are you to say I shouldn’t make her pay?” There was no reply from her, either mentally or in writing.

I considered. I knew Deanna could and would cut off our friendship. She had already demonstrated this before. What I had with her was more valuable than revenge. In my calmer state I knew I wanted to keep her friendship, more than just about anything. And here she had just given me yet another gift—a clear manifestation of her powers, in black and white before my eyes. And part of me knew the pointlessness of revenge. Someone has said, “Before you set out on the road to revenge, first dig two graves.” Someone else has said, “The best revenge is to live well.”

I took my handwritten note out of the Edgar Cayce book. I tore it into shreds, crumpled the shreds, and dropped them in the trashcan.

I wrote her another note. “I removed the offending object.”

“That’s better,” she replied.
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Copyright (c) 2010 by Richard Bryant Reinertson - all rights reserved

 

Thanks for your attention, dear readers. Deanna and I wish you a Merry Christmas, and suggest this is a good time to consider the possibility that "miracles" might really happen...on occasion...here and there...